The Sharpest Lives
by Jezz-Ra
Summary: Life goes on after the completion of the anime series. Kenshin becomes a wanderer again...but what does fate have in store for him this time?
1. Chapter 1

The Sharpest Lives 1 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Story born on July 27th, 2009. This story is set closely following the end of the anime series, but prior to any events that occurred in the Reflection OVA. I do understand that not everything I say will be entirely canon, but I don't intend to stray too drastically from the main storyline in regards to things that have gone before. It is only what happens AFTER the last episode of the anime that I shall be playing with. Plenty of spoilers.

I'm not sure how many RK fans are out there these days, especially those of the yaoi persuasion...but as I couldn't find enough fics to slake my own lust, I'll write one of my own. I will update this...as often as I can. More often if I receive more reviews than I am expecting.

Story title is taken from the song by the same name. "Give me a shot to remember / and you can take all the pain away from me / a kiss and I will surrender / the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead". Song is by My Chemical Romance.

So without further ado...it is time for me to begin on my newest journey. I hope you all enjoy.

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The first few steps had been the hardest.

Walking away from the Kamiya dojo after so long was one of the most difficult things Kenshin had ever forced himself to do. It wasn't just the dojo he was leaving, after all. It was a place where he was cared for. It was his friends. It was a place he felt at peace, a place where the pain he had suffered began to loosen its grip on his heart and let him smile again. It was warmth.

It was home.

// Home... // the samurai had mused to himself as he forced his feet to move along the path littered with cherry blossoms, away from the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had never thought he'd find a place that he could call home, not after he had left his Shishou's home way up on the mountainside. But life since he had stumbled upon the Kamiya dojo had been full of surprises. He had found more than just a place to rest for a night or two.

It had meant more to him, he knew, than Kaoru would ever realize when she had told him that she didn't care about his past or who he had been. Even if the words had been spoken with ignorance and naivete, it had been nice to think that maybe somewhere he could find someone that would care for him for who he was, despite his bloody past. He had assumed then that, should the truth come out in full, he would have been cast out.

But life continued to twist away from the reality he had come to accept. His little group of friends had grown. They had learned of some of his dark history, and they incredibly, impossibly judged him on who he was now and not who he had been. Kenshin had found true friends, people he could trust and depend on, people that truly cared for him as he hadn't been cared for in so many, many years...not since his Shishou.

Oh, surely, Hiko would have denied caring for his baka deshi in any way...but Kenshin knew better, had always known better. Hiko hid his affection for the redhead under gruff insults, ego, and more sake than it seemed any individual could consume without being pickled...but Kenshin had known. He had seen the genuine affection in his master's dark eyes, felt it in the way Hiko had cared for him. And now that he was an adult...older, wiser, and far more worldly... he could see, too, how much Hiko had tried to save him from himself.

No matter the reasons he had spouted, Hiko had known Kenshin wasn't a murderer. The little redhead was so gentle and kind-hearted, truly desiring only the best for people...wanting nothing more than to ease the pain and suffering of people he had never met, whom would never thank him, with no thought for himself. Hiko had, at that moment when Kenshin first announced his intent to leave, bitterly regretted teaching him the art of violence and had wondered, if left alone, if the redhead might not have chosen a different and more peaceful path...that of a farmer, a doctor, a fisherman... Hiko had tried to sway his beloved baka deshi from a path he knew would slowly extinguish the light in those brilliant amethyst eyes, a path that would break Kenshin's heart and tatter his soul.

But Kenshin had left regardless. Even now, with his hands stained with so much blood...he could not say he regretted his choice...but rather he regretted having to make the choice in the first place. If given the same set of circumstances, even knowing how much it would hurt all these years later...Kenshin would have reached the same decision. It was horrible, what he had done...and every time his blade bit into flesh, he died a bit more inside... but he had made a difference. The goal he had believed in had come to pass.

As Hiko had feared, such incredible violence had broken something inside Kenshin. It had been shocking, really, how easily he had killed his first man. It was just as it had always been in training...a swift draw, a darting twist and deft flick of his wrist against a wary opponent. Only his target was no Seijuro Hiko. Instead of the familiar clash of steel, there had been a thick, fleshy thump...the brief resistance of bone and sinew being rent asunder, the bright burst of hot blood.

Kenshin had stared for so long at the fallen man as his own soul screamed in horror and his heart twisted up inside him, horribly sick at what he had done. His mind had quailed at the the thought, screamed that he could never, never again allow something so dreadful to take place. Not with his own hands.

But it had. Over and over...countless had fallen to his blade. He had become the antithesis of his very being. He had become a merciless, cold slayer of men whose name alone was enough to cause the most stalwart of men to quiver in dread and bone-deep terror. He had become the Battousai, and locked Himura Kenshin's heart away within him. He thought maybe, just maybe, he could survive this war.

Then Tomoe had fallen into his life...and in the midst of it all she had unintentionally dug her way through the Battousai's defenses, burrowed into him and found her way to Kenshin's fragile heart. He had come to love her as he had loved the illusion of peace in which he lived. Some mornings, he was almost able to believe in this fantasy that was his cover...the young apothecary and his beautiful wife, living peacefully on the edge of town, with their little garden growing food and medicinal herbs.

But things had gone so horribly, horribly awry. When Tomoe fell to his own sword, Kenshin had almost died himself. Perhaps, in many ways, he had. He had sworn the oath to never again take the life of another once this war was over, and he had stuck to it.

The first few weeks after the war were some of the most difficult. Kenshin was directionless. The easiest answer would have been to accept one of the several offers he had received to join the military...or the less savory offers to continue on with a mercenary life, an unparalleled killer for hire. But no. Kenshin refused. He clung to the frayed thread of his ideals to use his sword to help people.

Slowly, ever so slowly...he was able to subdue the ruthless Battousai he had become. It had been extraordinarily difficult, and Kenshin's sanity was surely cracked. He found himself wavering between his two selves, torn between two sets of ideals and ways of life that could not have been more different. The violent internal struggle had threatened to tear him asunder and leave him a gibbering wreck.

But somehow, he had persevered. He had taken up the sakabatou and begun his long journey. A large part of him had ached to return home to the familiar comfort of his Shishou's quiet mountain house...but he couldn't bring himself to turn down that path. Not then, with the blood so fresh on his hands, having so blatantly disregarded his master's wishes and heartfelt warnings. He had believed in his heart that his Shishou would be deeply shamed by his actions.

There was nowhere else for him to go, and so he had simply gone where his feet carried him. When he found people in trouble, he did what he could to help. It never erased the pain, it could never make up for the sins he bore...but every life he saved, every person who's life he had made better...it had eased the ache enough that he could manage to live on day to day.

Day by day, mile by mile, Kenshin was able to lay Battousai to rest and walk away from his past. He knew it was not something he could run from, of course, and he never tried...but he WAS able to distance himself from it.

And of course, even if he had been able to put his past out of his mind for even a day, his enemies were innumerable and always, always threw it back in his face. No matter how hard he tried to avoid conflict, it would find him, overtake him. He grimly clung to his oath and fought to preserve his ideals and, more recently, to protect his friends. Throughout it all, even through the fight with Shishio...he had not slain another.

Slowly the enemies had dwindled, and life had settled into a comfortable routine at the dojo. The occasional conflict cropped up, but it was dealt with and peace had returned. As the peace stretched into longer and longer spans of time, Kenshin's unease grew. In part, he felt guilt at not using his skills to help others in an effort to atone for his past. The bigger problem, however, was the peace itself. He had a home, good friends, and a woman whom he knew had come to love him.

And he deserved NONE of it.

How could he ever be happy? He above all others did not deserve it. For all the lives he shattered, how could he ever allow himself that pleasure? The war between his guilt and his duty to protect his friends raged endlessly in his mind.

Then the day had come when Sanosuke left. The fighter had announced that he was going to do some traveling of his own. Kaoru, Yahiko, and everyone else had been horribly upset and begged him not to go. Kenshin said nothing. Sanosuke had finally cornered him standing alone on the riverbank.

Sanosuke had been unable to hide the hurt in his eyes as he had confronted Kenshin. "So, what...you don't care if I just up and walk away? Everyone else is having a fit, but you haven't said ANYTHING."

Kenshin looked over at him and smiled softly. It was one of his very rare, true smiles...not the plastic, fabricated ones he pasted on for the benefit of others. Sano knew him well enough to know the difference. He was quiet for a long moment before he finally spoke. "Sano...I only hope you find what you are looking for out there, that I do."

Sano eyed him for a long moment as the truth dawned on him. Kenshin hadn't made an effort to stop him because he, above all others, understood. Even without knowing all the lanky fighter's reasons...even without knowing ANY of them...Kenshin understood. The fighter nodded and then pulled the redhead into his arms, hugging him tightly. Then he had left without another word.

For the next couple of years, Kenshin had remained at the dojo, but things weren't the same for any of them with Sanosuke gone. The fighter had always been quick to laugh and quick to fight, quick to pull a friend into a hug or cheer them up if they were down. The group had borne the loss stoically, however, and eventually got used to Sanosuke's absence even if they never forgot him or stopped missing him.

Kaoru had finally, after so much time, grown frustrated enough to corner Kenshin and bluntly confess all of her feelings for him. She admitted how very terribly she had come to love him, told him she KNEW that he was well aware of it, and demanded to know where he stood.

Kenshin had thought long and hard on the subject over time. He was able to admit that he had never revealed his own feelings on the matter out of a deep desire to protect Kaoru, even from himself and the hurt he knew he would inevitably cause her. It was hard for him to see her tears. He did not...could not...love her like she wanted him to. He loved her, to be sure...loved her fiercely and would do anything to keep her from pain...but he was not IN love with her. He could not be with her.

He did not deserve her love. He didn't deserve ANYONE'S love.

Kaoru had taken it hard. In her mind, she had convinced herself that she could heal Kenshin's pain, that he would return her feelings wholeheartedly. It was frustrating. She knew, even if Kenshin hadn't let on that he felt unworthy, that it was the case. She had yelled at him. She had told him he had to let go of his past, he had suffered enough, that he deserved to be happy as much as anyone else...that no one else could make her happy.

Kenshin had given her a quiet, sad smile and a hug with his heartfelt apology. Kaoru had fled, crying, unable to or unwilling to understand and accept his position. Kenshin hated to see her hurting, especially knowing that he was the cause of her suffering. But he knew, too, that she was young and with time, she would recover even if she was convinced at this moment that she never would, that no one could mean as much to her.

Two days later, he had left the dojo with the rising of the sun. He didn't know if he would ever return. He liked to think and believe in his heart that some day, he would find himself at peace enough to return.

Those first few steps were the hardest.


	2. Chapter 2

The Sharpest Lives 2 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Hmm. Only a single review? Perhaps the audience for a RK ficcy is smaller than I otherwise anticipated...ah, well. I'll give it a couple chapters and let some things happen that are worth reviewing before I get too put out hehe.

Time to get some of that plot thing in here. Let's see if I can keep this fic under a hundred chapters...I always have the best of intentions but ...well. The last fic I tried to make 10 or 12 chapters long is at 121 and still going...XD

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It had been two years since Kenshin had left the Kamiya dojo. In that time, he had wandered far across Japan. Countless brigands had felt the bite of the sakabatou. He hadn't stayed in any one place for very long.

For all that Kenshin missed his life at the dojo with his friends...friends that had become his family...Kenshin couldn't deny the attraction that the open road held for him. Wandering, sleeping under the stars...it was freedom as much as it was penance. It was blissful, in a way, to have nothing surrounding him but the open sky, no place that he had to go save where his feet and chance took him...but it was a quiet, lonely life.

// As is fitting. I should not burden others with the sins of my past ... they should not suffer those that come to try to claim my blood in payment. I do not deserve such a peaceful, happy life...I must seek to atone for all those whose lives I have taken. //

It was currently mid-morning, and Kenshin could smell the faintest hint of salt in the air, blown in on the breeze from the southern coast. // It should not take too much longer for me to reach the port...a day or so, I'd imagine. I suppose I can stop by for a short while and see if there is anything in the area that needs attending...perhaps get a few things. I think I have a LITTLE coin left. //

Kenshin blinked as he noticed something in the road. His pace quickened when he noticed it was a man. The samurai was relieved to see the man was still alive, although he looked exhausted. Kenshin helped the man to sit up and checked him over, trying to gauge the extent of his injuries. It wasn't as bad as he had feared - the man had broken his ankle and was dehydrated and tired, but nothing that seemed fatal.

After getting the man to drink some water, Kenshin was able to coax a little information out of him. The distressed man looked at him in despair. "Please, you have to help me!"

"Of course, sir...what is it that you need?" Kenshin asked softly.

The man produced a satchel and pulled a little wooden chest out of it. "This box contains some medicine and herbs to make more. I've traveled for nearly a month to acquire it...I have to get it back home to my village. The people are sick, and this can cure them. If I don't get it there soon, they could all die...but I can't travel like this! I'll never make it..."

Kenshin offered the man a smile and gently rested his hand on his shoulder. "If you are willing to trust me, sir, I will deliver the medicine for you. All you need to do is tell me where to go."

The man eyed the samurai in grateful disbelief. "R...really? You would do that for me? You don't even know me...who are you?"

"I am just a wanderer, that I am. It would do my heart good to help you, sir, and I have no other obligations at present."

The man appeared to consider it for a moment before fishing around in his satchel and pulling out a small map. He spent a short while explaining to Kenshin where his village was - it was actually on the continent just outside a port town there. The man had already booked passage on a ship and he pushed his receipt into Kenshin's hands.

"I can't thank you enough for this. Don't worry about me. I can make it to the city and I have friends there that will help see me home. You should go, quickly."

"Are you sure, sir? I wouldn't want anything to happen to you out here alone and injured..." Kenshin frowned, torn between the need to make haste and worry for the wounded man.

"Please. The longer we wait, the more people will suffer. I'll make it to the city myself."

Kenshin gave in, although he left what water and food he had on him with the man and did what he could to bandage his ankle. He then shouldered the satchel and wished the man well in his travels before heading off down the road towards the city. While he was sad that there were people suffering, it was a nice feeling to know he would be helping. He had a quest, a direction.

// Hmm. I've never been to the continent before...// Kenshin mused as he headed down the road. // It will be an interesting experience, I suppose. //

The samurai was jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of a woman wailing. Violet eyes widened as Kenshin hurried over the next hill in the road to investigate, one hand twitching near the hilt of his blade.

Kenshin's sharp eyes took in the scene. A large cart was abandoned off to the side of the road, a few boxes and things littering the ground. A weeping woman was kneeling next to the cart, holding a motionless man in her lap and rocking him slightly. The man was soaked in blood.

Kenshin frowned as he headed towards the woman. Her teary gaze snapped up when he got close, looking at him in alarm. The samurai quickly held up his hands to show he meant no harm. "My pardons, I did not mean to startle you. What happened here?"

The woman was nearly hysterical, from the sounds of things. "Bandits...they...they attacked me and my husband...they stabbed him! They took our horses and our valuables..."

Kenshin's frown deepened as the woman's short tale of woe tugged at his heartstrings. "Is your husband...will he be alright, do you think?"

The woman sniffled, distressed. "I...I don't know..."

Kenshin eyed the man, judging from the amount of blood soaking his shirt that he SURELY needed some medical attention, but not sure what was the best way to pry him from his wife's grasp to tend him. "Will you allow me to have a look at his wounds that I might treat them? I've taken my share of injuries and know how to treat most wounds, that I do."

The woman hesitated before nodding. "I...yes, you can. There are some bandages and supplies in a large steel chest in the cart."

Kenshin nodded and swiftly made his way to the cart, locating the chest in question. He paused with a frown as he lifted it free of the cart and set it on the ground. The sharp scent of gunpowder tickled his nose. // What is it they had as cargo, I wonder...? Perhaps they own a firearm of their own which was stolen in the raid. //

Despite that thought, however, Kenshin's mind was ill at ease. His sixth sense was tingling madly. Something was wrong here...something was out of place, but his other senses hadn't picked up on what it was just yet. // Is this some sort of set up? A trap? // Slowly, Kenshin's eyes shifted to take a look at the distressed woman and her husband, the direction of his gaze shielded by his long bangs. She was watching him intently, her gaze occasionally flicking off towards the nearby forest and not at all paying attention to her horribly wounded husband. Kenshin barely hid his surprise when he noticed the supposedly dying man crack open an eye to watch him as well.

The faintest of smiles twitched Kenshin's lips as he pretended to be having some difficulty with the latch of the metal chest. // A trap, then. Bandits. Luring in passers-by with this ruse in an effort to catch them unaware. I'm actually surprised their comrades haven't revealed themselves and attacked me just yet. How disgraceful, preying on those kind-hearted enough to drop their guard to help a couple in need. But what are they waiting for? //

Kenshin got his answer a moment later when he decided it was time to move the ruse along. He unlatched the lid of the chest and pushed it open. His sixth sense screamed in alarm, but even his god-like speed wasn't enough to completely save him. The chest had been rigged with explosives, and when the lid opened, they had triggered. He had managed to put a tiny bit of distance between him and the chest before it hit, but it wasn't enough.

This explosion was unlike any Kenshin had encountered before. The explosion didn't have much actual concussive force, instead carrying with it an incredible explosion of sound and a searing, brilliant burst of light. Kenshin was dimly aware of a scream being torn from his throat even as his back hit the cart. The burning, blinding light erased his vision entirely. The massive sound almost directly in his ears had reduced his hearing to a nonsensical, pointless buzz.

Somehow, incredibly - likely only because of the cart at his back - Kenshin stayed on his feet. He felt more than heard the movement around him. He drew his sword and held it defensively in front of him, struggling to focus through the pain. He didn't dare to take a step, feeling his center of balance reeling horribly off-kilter. His mind felt numb and his limbs heavy, but he couldn't afford to give in to the peaceful bliss that unconsciousness offered. // Damn it... I even was expecting a trap and fell for it anyways... //

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The bandits eyed each other as they gathered, their half-dozen comrades filtering out of their hiding places. They eyed Kenshin with varying expressions.

"Plucky little thing, ain't he, still on his feet and steel in hand? I guess it's true, size isn't everything."

"Keh, he's dead on his feet. He can barely stand. He probably doesn't even know how to use that damn thing...probably stole it from his daddy's shelf."

"Eh, he's small but he doesn't look like a kid. A girl, maybe..." Here the bandits snickered, and one of them headed towards Kenshin.

"He is a pretty little thing for a wannabe samurai. I think I'll see if he screams like a girl instead of just lookin' like one."

"Hah, he's prettier than most of the whores you bring back to the camp! Maybe I'll help ya make him squeal."

The bandits laughed in amusement, although their laughter died rapidly. As soon as the more adventurous of the lecherous ones got close to Kenshin, the redhead exploded into motion. Three strikes that were almost too fast for the naked eye to follow dropped the man to the ground with a broken collarbone and arm.

The attack cost Kenshin, however, and the world reeled sickeningly under him and he nearly fell. He found that his hearing wasn't completely erased on his right side, but it was surely damaged.

The remainder of the bandits exchanged glances, their expressions ranging from surprise to anger and back again. Apparently their target wasn't as helpless as they had assumed.

"Eh, I got this," one of the bandits muttered, slowly edging towards Kenshin but staying just out of the samurai's reach. The tip of the sakabatou moved to follow his motion and he stared at the redhead incredulously. "What the fuck are you? D'ya think he senses vibrations in the ground or some shit?"

"Hell if I know. Take him down!"

The bandit smirked and hefted a small but weighty club. After all, he didn't want to KILL the pretty little samurai...not yet. Not while he still had his uses...and he was eager to get his hands on that lithe body.

This second attacker met as equally an inglorious end as the first. He darted in, low and to the side...and caught the sakabatou directly across the stomach. There was a crunch as ribs broke, and an even louder snap as the blade smashed back into his shoulder half a heartbeat later.

Kenshin staggered backwards even as the bandit dropped, unable to keep his feet any longer. The remaining bandits were heading for him en masse now, but they stopped in their tracks at what happened next. Kenshin fell backwards heavily into the wheel of the cart. There was a groaning snap as the half-rotted axle gave way, toppling the cart over. Kenshin's mouth opened in what would have been a scream if the breath hadn't been blasted out of his lungs as the heavy thing smashed down on his back. The samurai was no longer able to keep his tentative grip on reality and succumbed to unconsciousness.

"Well...fuck," one of the brigands finally grumbled. "We don't have time to fix the damn thing and the bastard's no good to us half-smashed."

"Eh, just stick with the original plan. Loot 'im and we'll leave 'im. It won't be hard to get another cart. Shame to leave somethin' so pretty behind, but we can't stick around too long. We ain't too far from the city, don't want to get caught. It's about time we get out of town anyway. Pawn off all the shit we've gotten lately and take a ship somewhere else before the police in the area catch on."

The others nodded and they went about the business of rifling through Kenshin's meager possessions and gathering the more important of their props before fleeing the scene.


	3. Chapter 3

The Sharpest Lives 3 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - That's better. The Jess likes feedback. It makes her happy. I really will try to avoid begging for it all the time, but I dearly appreciate it. =D

Welcome to my take on RK, all those who are following me from my Inuyasha fic crowd. ( And a special welcome to Sutlesarcasm because you made me smile. Mighty and Incomparable Pharaoh Jezz-Ra, indeed! =D ) Let's see if this bad boy can't be made a little shorter than 'Pride' turned out to be, eh? XD ((And for those of you that aren't followers of my story Pride, it's at like 550 pages and 122 chapters. This fic can be PLENTY long without being that huge... ))

Kenshin is so perfect for my tastes, really...I don't need to torture him or anything to cause angst - he has enough canon angst and inner turmoil to sate my desires....and he's petite and pretty and amusing...perfect. =D

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Sanosuke grinned hugely as he finally set food on solid ground. He inhaled deeply, taking in the welcome scents of the bustling city gratefully after long months with nothing but the salty air on the open sea to fill his lungs. Sailing was a fine enough life, but it was always nice to get back to shore.

Four years had seen a large change in the fighter. His body had filled out some, grown a bit thicker. His hair had gotten longer as well and fell in an unruly, spiky mane to his shoulders. Despite his broader frame and semi-wild appearance, however, he moved with a lightness that was surprising in a man his size, his every movement under perfect control. It was clear that this man was no target...always a predator and never the prey.

Despite how intimidating he could look, however, Sano's personality hadn't changed all that much. He still laughed easily, grinned like a lunatic and acted just as he always had. He reveled in life, sake, gambling, and the company of friends.

Life had changed for him since he left the dojo, for the better in many ways. After wandering aimlessly for a while, Sano had fallen in with a merchant company. They had hired him to work on their ship, impressed with his strength and his skills. Sano enjoyed the work, and they paid him well. Not only did he get to travel back and forth from the continent to the mainland and all along the coasts, he was doing honest work and had made enough in the past couple years to erase almost every debt he owed.

// Another good trip or two and I should have enough to pay back everyone in Tokyo...then I'm free and clear. I won't owe anyone a thing. Hah, maybe I'll even treat everyone to lunch at the Akabeko and pay for the tab...give Tae a nice tip, too, for all she's put up with over the years. //

The fighter whistled cheerfully as he made his way down the street, enjoying the feel of the heavy sack of coin bouncing against his thigh under his cloak. The satchel slung over his shoulder was filled with things he had gained on his latest voyage through purchases, gambling, or sheer luck. Sano had found that a nice profit could be made in selling things from one port to the next - it was simply a matter of finding things that were common in one place and selling them in another where they were less accessible.

// Man...I do miss everyone. I wonder how they are?... Shit, Yahiko's got to be grown by now. That'll be weird. Kenshin and Kaoru...bet they have fourteen kids by now. I'm sure she wouldn't have let him get out of marrying her for much longer. Probably makes him take care of all the kids as well as do all the chores and cook and all that. I always thought Kenshin would make someone a good wife someday. //

The thought brought a smile to his face. Of all the people he missed, he missed Kenshin the most. The samurai had been something of an idol to him. In combat, Kenshin was grace and speed, poetry in motion. He was indomitable, invincible...a thing of true awe. Sanosuke had made something of a career out of getting in fights even before his stint as Zanza and well after, and he had never seen someone of Kenshin's caliber. What Kenshin lacked in raw power he made up for in sheer speed and skill.

Oh, it was true enough that he had seen Kenshin get involved in battles that had sorely wounded him...but he had always gotten back on his feet. Sano would never be able to fathom where that stubborn tenacity came from, how Kenshin could come back from the brink of death and still manage to stand and fight. The battle with Shishio was a prime example.

However, while Sano worshiped Kenshin's fighting prowess, it was not the only thing he respected. Kenshin was always calm, even in the most desperate of situations. He did not allow his emotions to run rampant, would not let himself be baited. Rare, indeed, was the opponent that managed to get under the samurai's skin.

Kenshin may not have been well educated - a fact that he had never denied - but he had street smarts in spades, and the sort of wisdom only someone that had seen far, far too much could lay claim to.

Kenshin was, in short, the most amazing person Sanosuke had ever met. He was a true friend, always willing to lend an ear and would give his advice if it was asked for. He never judged Sano for any of his bad habits, and had always been there whenever Sano had needed him for anything. Sanosuke would have trusted him with his life and more without a second thought or moment's hesitation - something he could say about virtually no one else.

Oh, to be sure, Sano cared deeply for Yahiko and Kaoru and Megumi, the doctor and the girls...everyone else... but the bond with them hadn't run quite as deeply. They were shining stars in the tapestry of Sano's life...and Kenshin was a blazing comet.

Sano grinned. // Only another few months and I'll see Kenshin and the gang again. Maybe I'll stick around for a while, too...head back out when the company swings back through. Hell, another few years and maybe I'll buy myself a nice house on a hill somewhere and marry a nice girl. // The more he thought about that, though, he wasn't sure if it was something he really wanted. It was nice to have a place to call home...but something in the fighter whispered that he already had a home in the open road and was wedded to the endless sky.

The fighter was shaken from his thoughts as he meandered through the marketplace. He spent a couple hours trading and selling goods, as well as buying a few things. He wandered towards the local pawn shop, taking a deep swallow from the jug of sake he'd picked up. // Damn, this tastes delicious after the ship's swill... //

Sano stepped to the side quickly as a trio of men made their way out of the shop, grins on their faces. The fighter scowled and considered telling them to watch where they were going, but something made him hold his tongue and listen.

"Hah, not a bad haul. I was kinda surprised. Who woulda thought that stupid box would have been worth so much?"

// Hn...probably bandits gloating over their spoils. // Sano shrugged to himself, prepared to ignore them.

"Eh, no accounting for taste. Though I have to say I was disappointed that the sword was worthless."

"Well, you should have looked at it first, moron, and you would have realized it wasn't anything but scrap."

"Fuck you. What sort of ass-backwards samurai carries a sword with the edge on the wrong side? It's like some sort of damn joke."

Sano's attention was now caught in full, a thousand thoughts whirling through his head, all of them spiraling from a central thought of a certain redhead. // Just calm down. I could be misinterpreting this...after all, why in the hell would Kenshin be anywhere NEAR here? And no bandit could take his sword from him... I'm jumping to conclusions. //

"Hell, you don't see many real samurai in this day and age, especially not one carrying steel...even if it IS junk. Pretty well-forged for junk, though. What a waste."

Sano had never been patient, and what little patience he DID possess had evaporated in the face of his curiosity and growing dread. He pasted on a cheery grin and approached the trio of bandits. "'Scuse me! What's this I hear you saying about a backwards sword?"

The three bandits clammed up and gave Sano dark looks. The fighter only widened his grin. "Hey, relax. I just happened to overhear you mention it and it caught my interest. Y'see, I knew a samurai that carried a backwards sword like that. Can I see it?"

One of the bandits shrugged and tossed Sano a wrapped bundle. The fighter didn't even need to draw the blade after he pulled the wrapping away, struggling to keep the tremor from his fingers as he stared at the familiar, well-worn hilt of the sakabatou. "How...did you get this?"

The trio smirked. "Eh, nice chap, that samurai...he was more than happy to hand it over."

Sano's grin was forced and showed enough teeth that it was practically a snarl. "Really... what did this samurai look like?" Something wasn't adding up here. Kenshin would NEVER be taken by bandits like these, Sanosuke knew that for a fact. None of them moved with the grace, the economy of movement of a true warrior. He imagined they had some skill, but unless there was someone truly incredible in their little group...

The bandits laughed outright. They figured Sano wasn't much of a threat - the fighter looked rather wild himself, and hadn't bothered to clean up yet after a long voyage. He looked like a ruffian himself, perhaps a kindred spirit. "Hah...I've never seen anythin' like him. Short, pretty little thing...looked almost like a damn woman. Real long hair, too. Red."

One of his partners agreed with a snicker. "Mm...yeah, it had to be some sorta joke. Surprised he could even lift that backwards sword...he woulda been more at home in a whorehouse than pretending to be a swordsman! I would have liked to have got my hands on him, I'm not gonna lie..."

Sano was seeing red, his grip on the sakabatou tightening. He barely heard the third, barely restrained from wrapping his hands around the second bandit's throat and throttling the life from him.

"Eh, he knew how to swing that thing, girly or not. He wasn't jokin' around."

"Doesn't matter how good he was when the damn cart fell on him." The trio's laughter was cut short as Sano snapped. Before the bandits could even think to react, two of them had been laid out with bone-shattering punches by the fighter's fists. A snarl was on his lips and a feral threat of death flickering in his eyes. He grabbed the third by the shirt and yanked him close.

"What...did you do to him?"

The bandit spluttered, overwhelmed by the sight of his downed friends. "W-we didn't do anything!" His voice turned into a yelp as he saw Sano's fist cock back.

"Wrong answer."

"W-wait! Alright! Damn! We looted him and left him!"

"Did you kill him?" Sano's voice was flat, the words strangely devoid of emotion. If this bandit dared to admit it, he would lose his life, and his companions would soon follow.

"No, we didn't..."

Sano narrowed his eyes.

"We didn't! We were....we were going to have some fun with him but he was a fuckin' demon with that sword. Even as screwed up as he was we couldn't touch him. He fell into the cart we had with us and the wheel broke and the thing fell on him. We looted him and left him for dead...there's no way he woulda lived long."

Sano growled softly. "Where...did this happen?"

"A-about a day's walk north of here, not far off the road near where the forest starts."

The bandit didn't even have time to squeak as Sano's fist rearranged his face with a crunch. The fighter didn't even look as the bandit hit the dirt.

Soon Sano was galloping out of town at top speed on the back of his newly-purchased horse, silently praying to Buddha and any other powers that might be listening that the bandit's words weren't true and dreading what he might find.


	4. Chapter 4

The Sharpest Lives 4 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Love y'all that reviewed...I'll leave a more detailed author's note at the end of this chapter rather than the beginning, because it's better to read this one and then have a detail explained instead of reading the detail then reading the scenario.

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Sano had been riding hard for an hour before the clouds began to roll in, and by the end of his second hour the rain was pouring down. Sano was forced to slow his mad dash - the mud was making the road rather treacherous for a horse moving at such speeds. The poor beast was tired from being pushed so hard anyway, so it was probably for the best, even if everything inside Sano screamed that he had to hurry.

It was a bit over another hour when he saw trees just off the road ahead. Sano's heart lurched into his throat as he caught sight of a large and toppled wooden cart. He was off the horse and dashing madly towards it in an instant, eyes casting about wildly.

He froze in his tracks when he rounded the cart, eyes going wide. It was nothing more than he had expected, but that didn't lessen the impact the sight had on him.

Kenshin was pinned under the cart, the heavy thing having fallen squarely in the middle of his back. Not only was the cart itself large and solidly constructed, if old and partially rotted from ill care, but the bandits had used rocks and logs to fill the lower half to give the illusion that the cart held more actual cargo than it did. The samurai's skin was ashen, his long red hair broken free of its band and full of mud. Even the rain hadn't washed away all traces of the blood that had streaked from his ears and down his face.

Sano stared for a long moment, simply unable to act. // Kenshin... // He had never anticipated that his first time seeing the little redhead in four years would be like this, and his heart twisted painfully. With a lurch he stumbled forward, breaking free of his paralysis. "Kenshin...!"

Sanosuke panicked for a moment, unsure of what he should do first when he finally reached the samurai. // Gotta get the cart off.... // Before he could bring himself to do that, however, he kneeled down, swallowing thickly. Reaching out trembling fingers to press against Kenshin's throat was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Sano almost sobbed in relief when he felt the flutter of a pulse, stronger than he had expected. // I should have known...no damn bandit or stupid cart would be enough to take down Himura Kenshin. Now how to get this damn thing off?! //

The fighter jumped to his feet and grabbed the edge of the cart. Gritting his teeth, he gave a tremendous heave, putting all of his considerable strength into it. Veins popped and his muscles strained, but the thing didn't budge.

"Fuck!" The fighter cast about desperately, his eyes locking on one of the harnesses still attached to the front of the cart.

Soon he had rearranged things and had the horse tethered on the opposite side of the cart. He had removed the wheel from the other side, so that if he did manage to lift the thing enough, gravity would take over and lever it off Kenshin. Praying it would be enough, he let out a sharp yell. The startled animal jerked forward and Sano hauled at the heavy cart for all he was worth.

For a long and horrible moment he was afraid it wouldn't be enough...or worse, that he would drop the thing and damage Kenshin further...but his luck held. He didn't lose his footing, and with a tortured groan of damaged wood, the cart lifted. Sano felt his muscles burn and he forced his body to push just a little more. The cart finally reached its pivot point. Without a wheel to support its other side, it toppled over.

Sano dropped to his knees, afraid for a long moment at what he might see when he looked over at Kenshin to reassess the damage. He blinked and let out a short laugh of relieved surprise. // Never thought I'd be glad for the rainy season... // The ground had been soft from all the recent showers, and rather than be crushed and broken, Kenshin had instead been bruised and smushed deeply into the mud. He hadn't escaped damage - he had some nasty looking bruises and Sano figured his ribs were probably bruised too, but a few tentative prods of his fingers didn't reveal any breaks.

Sano frowned as he brushed his fingers over Kenshin's forehead. The redhead's skin was painfully hot to the touch.

"Shit...going to have to get you to a doctor and fast. Just hang on, Kenshin..." The fighter moved to lift the samurai out of the mud.

He couldn't have been more surprised when Kenshin's fist came up and smashed into the side of his face with surprising force. Sano toppled backwards from the unexpected blow with a startled curse, dropping Kenshin in the process. The samurai landed on his hands and knees, panting hard.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

What was going on?...

Dim awareness slowly filtered into Kenshin's mind around the throbbing pain in his head and the horrible, burning ache in his chest. He didn't know the extent of the damage his torso had taken, but the simple weight of the cart was making breathing an almost impossible, torturous effort. Kenshin struggled to claw his way to coherency, to figure out what it was that had roused him.

He didn't have the energy to open his eyes - and figured that was probably a good thing. He could only imagine the pain he would be in if he had been able. His eyes felt like gritty rocks grinding against their sockets. It was with some surprise that Kenshin noted his hearing had more or less returned on his right side, although everything was a pointless, dead hum on his left. // Not good...can't see...and with only partial hearing, my equilibrium will be entirely shot and I won't be able to compensate for the loss of my eyes like I've done before. I won't be able to judge distance...let alone stand and walk without falling over and losing my balance. //

Kenshin's mind drifted and he almost lost consciousness for a moment. Something tickled at the back of his mind and he thought he heard something, although his senses were far too muddled to place what it could be. // Am I delusional?...I feel so hot...I probably have a fever. //

It was some surprise that the samurai felt the horrible pressure ease off his body. // What?... // He paused in the torturous effort of battling the fog in his mind to give in to simple gratitude at the air suddenly filling his lungs. His chest still burned after being compressed for as long as it had, but the damp air felt wonderful. It made some of the dizzy ache in his mind fade enough to allow his thought process to resume.

// Oh no...the bandits must have come back for me! Damn... //

He heard someone speak, but his coherency was not up to par. He couldn't quite fathom what the words were, although there was something soothing and familiar about the timbre of that voice. Kenshin couldn't place it, however.

Alarm surged through him as he felt himself being lifted off the ground. // No...I won't let them take me...not easily. Not without a fight... I'll die before I suffer whatever they have in mind...! // With a defiant burst of adrenaline-fueled energy, he lashed out at the person holding him. He felt a dim sense of satisfaction as he connected and was dropped.

Kenshin managed to land on his hands and knees, wobbling slightly. He didn't have the energy to so much as lift his head now, his attack costing him more energy than he had been able to afford to spend.

"Shit...fucking high-strung samurai....! Kenshin! You're alright, just relax. Don't strain yourself. I'll get you to a doctor so we can get you patched up...are you listening to me? Kenshin!"

The sound of his name being spoken filtered into Kenshin's beleagured brain and he struggled to make proper significance of the fact. // He knows my name?... And... and.... that voice... Impossible. I know that voice...but how can it be? // It took the last of the strength Kenshin had, but he forced the word out anyways. "Sano...?"

Sano sighed in relief. "Yeah, buddy, it's me...Kenshin?...Kenshin!" Sano watched as his friend slumped face-first into a puddle, unconsciousness overwhelming him. He quickly hauled the redhead out of the mud, taking care to jar him as little as possible. "Yep, doctor it is...and as soon as possible."

Sano was surprised at how easily he could lift Kenshin, how small the samurai's frame actually was under the muddy and tattered baggy clothes he wore. // Shit. There's nothin' to him, and he can still pack a mean punch, not to mention what he can do with a sword. Still...much as he wouldn't appreciate hearin' it, I've known a lot of girls with more to 'em. //

Sanosuke pushed those thoughts aside, however, and quickly untethered his horse from the cart. It was something of a feat to mount the horse with Kenshin's slight but dead weight, but he managed. It wasn't easy to ride while making the effort to cradle the injured samurai and keep him from being jarred too much without losing his own grip.

// Heh. Poor horse. I'll make sure you get a long rest for putting up with all this when we get back to town. //

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The wait outside of the doctor's was brutally difficult on Sano. The doctor had curtly informed him he would only be in the way if he remained in the room, and Sano had reluctantly agreed to wait outside. Minutes turned into hours, and the fighter was fidgeting nervously as he stalked back and forth in front of the building.

A tortured scream, a scream in Kenshin's familiar voice, sent a jolt down Sano's spine and he burst into the building. "What the fuck are you doing to him!?"

The doctor gave Sano a dark glare. "I'm doing everything I can! Now get out so I can work!"

Kenshin spoke up, even though it was clearly an effort. "No...S...Sano?"

Sano hurried over. "Yeah...it's me, buddy. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine..." Kenshin murmured. The answer brought a broad smile to Sano's face, even though he knew better. However, it was exactly the response he expected, the one Kenshin always gave. Sano was fairly sure Kenshin would claim he was fine if he woke up abruptly missing both his arms, should someone have asked it of him.

Sano's gaze snapped back to the doctor, who was busy crushing up some sort of herbs. "Well, what the fuck were you doing to him? I heard a scream."

"I was attempting to check his eyes."

"What's wrong with his eyes?" A cold finger of dread had begun to stroke the length of Sano's spine.

"As far as I can tell, the moisture was burned out of them."

Sano looked at the doctor in alarm, then at Kenshin. "So you mean to say he...he's...."

"Blind? Yes...although there is a possibility that it can heal. I do not want to give you false hope, but I won't deny that it might not be permanent if treated properly. I am preparing a poultice to apply. You must keep a bandage on them at all times until the healing process is further along."

"What makes you think...I mean...I'm glad to hear it might be able to be fixed, but...why do you think so?"

"Because they are sensitive to light. Now. On to other matters. His ribs are bruised, but it's not serious even if it IS painful. Several cuts and scrapes, which I have already bandaged as you can see. He is deaf on the left side...I believe his eardrum is ruptured. The right side is damaged, but not as severely."

"Shit...Kenshin..."

"Explosion in my face..." Kenshin muttered, his consciousness starting to slip.

Sano frowned and rested his hand on Kenshin's arm gently. "Meh...poor guy..."

The doctor sighed. "He also has a fever, but I gave him some medicine when he first came in and it is already beginning to subside. Provided he is properly treated, there is the possibility of a full recovery, although I make no promises."

Something stirred in Kenshin's slipping coherency. // Medicine....medicine! Oh, no! // The best the redhead could manage was a breathy sigh, however, as the darkness rose up to claim him again.

Sano paid close attention as the doctor detailed what he should do to care for Kenshin properly and what he'd need. Sano thanked him and paid him, even giving the man a generous tip as he lifted Kenshin carefully.

"You really shouldn't be moving him around so much!"

"You said yourself that he didn't have any major injuries besides the eyes and his ear, and there is nothing carrying him around will do to hurt that. No offense, doc, but I'm not comfortable in this sort of place. I'm going to get some lodging at the inn down the street. If I need anything, I'll be back. Thank you for all you've done."

The doctor reluctantly conceded Sano's point, and the fighter left to go get them a room. Soon he had Kenshin tucked in. Only then did he allow himself to collapse in his own bed, exhaustion rearing up to grab him and drag him down into the clutches of a deep sleep.

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A/N - I'm not ENTIRELY making up the circumstances of Kenshin's condition. I know for a fact that this sort of thing can occur to a person's eyes, however, because it happened to my father. He was fixing an electrical box and the guy he was working with stupidly did something with some other wires, connected a circuit that shouldn't have been touched or something. Anyway, my dad had his hand in a whole mess of wires and his wedding ring completed another circuit cause the idiot connected the other wires and the box exploded in his face. He couldn't see for a couple weeks cause it flash-fried all the liquid out of his eyes...but he DID get better. So it ISN'T completely made up....even if I added the hearing problem. It suits my purposes to have Kenshin somewhat incapacitated and simply being blind wouldn't cut it...he seems to function just fine like that, if the series itself is any judge. So I knocked out part of his hearing. Even when you CAN see, losing hearing on one side screws your equilibrium up horribly and messes with you. If relying SOLELY on that hearing...it'd be hard if not impossible to function properly.

So. There. Hah. =D


	5. Chapter 5

The Sharpest Lives 5 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - This chapter probably should have been two chapters, as it came out longer than I intended...but there were no good stopping points.

Thanks so much for the reviews, guys...it makes it feel like writing this is worthwhile I don't like thinking I'm writing for just myself! =D

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Kenshin jerked awake and suffered a brief moment of disorienting panic. He couldn't open his eyes, something was covering them....where was he? Where was his sword?! He tried to sit up and his breath escaped him in a tortured gasp, even as memory slowly filtered its way into his mind.

Oh. That's right. Sano had found him and brought him to the doctor. He was likely either still in the doctor's office or in a room not far off. A hesitant exploration with his fingers revealed that he was apparently tucked into a bed.

// I probably should be resting... // he thought, relaxing slightly. His nerves were too frayed, however. He just didn't feel comfortable. He hadn't slept laying down...hell, hadn't slept in anything resembling a bed!...since he had left the dojo. Even while he was at the dojo, he tended to sleep propped against the wall with his sword across his chest. Otherwise, he just felt...vulnerable.

Deciding that he wasn't likely to get any sleep, Kenshin sat up and swung his legs off the bed. He didn't really know where it was that he planned on going or what he planned on doing, but he knew he wanted to get up. // Maybe I can find something to drink. That'd be nice. //

The redhead learned what a terrible idea it was the moment he stood up. The world seemed to reel and lurch under his feet the moment he tried to take a step, his balance completely shot. The sounds around him that he was straining to hear out of his good ear were deceptive, playing tricks on his damaged senses and completely throwing off his equilibrium. Determined despite that, Kenshin managed another couple wobbly steps before he fell with a thud.

Sano jerked awake at the thump. It was dark, being the middle of the night, but there was enough light from the moon and streetlamps shining in the window that he could more or less take stock of his surroundings. His gaze immediately darted to the other bed and noticed it to be distinctly Kenshin-less. Alarmed, his gaze jerked around until he located the downed samurai by the foot of said bed.

"Kenshin? What are you doing out of bed?" Sano was getting up almost before he was done speaking.

The redhead finished pulling himself to his knees, his hand finding the edge of the bed and holding on to it. "I...needed a drink and didn't want to wake you."

Sano hurried over and helped him up. When he was convinced that Kenshin was securely seated on the edge of the bed, he snagged a glass of water from a pitcher on the table and brought it to him. "Here."

"Thank you, Sano." Kenshin accepted the glass gratefully, although something in his mind was galled at his inability to acquire the drink for himself.

"You need to lay back down and rest, Kenshin...you're in no shape to be up and wandering around."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Yeah, well, you're going to stay in bed if I have to hold you there myself. The doctor said you needed to rest and you're going to. You always push yourself too hard."

A faint smile flickered across Kenshin's face. // You won't have to hold me down. I can't even stand long enough to find the door, let alone get out of the room. // "Not that I am not glad to see you...so to speak... or grateful for your assistance, Sano...but how did you of all people find me?"

"Fate, I guess. I've been working with a merchant company for the past couple years, sailing from port to port. We just docked here and I was heading through the market to sell a few things when I ran into some bandits leaving the pawnshop. They were discussing...the sword they tried to sell without much luck."

"My sakabatou?"

"Yeah. So I asked them nicely to hand it over and tell me where they got it, and they were more than happy to comply."

"Really..." Kenshin's expression was one of doubt.

Sano grinned. "Orrr....maybe I smashed two of them in the head and the third one panicked enough to tell me what I wanted. You might call it aggressive negotiations."

Kenshin chuckled softly. "That sounds more like you, that it does."

"So what about you? How in the hell did a motley bunch like that manage to get the best of you?"

The samurai sighed ruefully. "They set up an ambush for passers-by...made it look as if a woman and her husband had been assaulted by bandits and were injured. When I stopped to help, she told me their medical supplies were in a chest in their cart. I figured out it was a trap but managed to spring it anyways. The chest was rigged with some sort of flash-bomb that went off when I opened it."

"That's awful..." Sano scowled. "Preying on people that are nice enough to try to help..."

"Yes. After that, I'm somewhat muddled on details. I fought them off for a while but lost my balance and fell. The next thing I knew, the cart smashed me into the ground and I couldn't breathe and blacked out."

"Enter our hero, stage left. I got the cart off ya, brought you here to town, and the doctor patched you up. I don't want to get your hopes up too much, but he says as long as you take proper care of yourself you could have a complete recovery."

Kenshin smiled. "That's promising, at least."

Sano squinted at Kenshin. "So...what the hell are you doing all the way out here, anyway? How's Yahiko and Megumi and Kaoru? What about the kids?"

Kenshin cocked his head slightly to one side before offering a hesitant response. "Ayame and Suzume?"

Sano rolled his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me..."

"I don't know what kids you are referring to then, Sano."

"What? I would have thought you and Kaoru would have had sixteen or so by now."

Kenshin almost fell off the bed. "Oro?!....Sixteen children, Sanosuke? That's...quite impossible!"

Sano chuckled. "Alright, fine..."

Kenshin sighed softly, lightly trailing his fingertip along the rim of his glass. "I have a fairly good idea of what you assume occurred, but it is not the case. I did not wed Kaoru. I left Tokyo two years ago and have not returned since."

"Huh? What?" Sano was floored and couldn't manage a more intelligible response. "But...but you and Kaoru...she loved you, and..."

Kenshin shook his head slowly. "I know, Sano. Believe me. I know. It was because of that that I remained as long as I did. I... did not want to hurt her, and my departure inevitably would...but I could not give her what she wanted. I could not be what she wanted me to be, needed me to be. She is ... young, and innocent. I..." Kenshin sighed heavily. It was hard to voice such feelings out loud...he usually kept them to himself, buried under layers of artificial good cheer or impassivity.

Sano scowled. "Oh, I get it. You did some bad things and took some lives to ultimately save a lot of lives and to try and change things for the better. You sacrificed yourself so that other people could have a better future...and you still won't stop beating yourself up about it. You try to punish yourself by pushing away everything that might be good in your life because you don't think you deserve it."

Kenshin's tone was sharp. "Do not trivialize or try to justify my sins, Sanosuke! For the greater good or not, I took the lives of people that were also fighting for their ideals. I killed openly in fair combat, and I killed in stealth and secrecy and cold blood."

Sano frowned, his heart aching at the bitterness in Kenshin's voice. He had never heard the samurai like this - dragging snippets of Kenshin's past out of him had always been like pulling teeth. "I'm not trivializing it. But what you did...you had to. Sometimes peace requires war, and war inevitably sucks and results in death."

"How ashamed my Shishou must have been, to know that I took his teachings to become a murderer..." Kenshin sighed heavily, the angry bitterness washing from his voice. "I know...that what I did...I had to do. But that does not mean I do not feel the guilt and the pain for every life I ended."

"And it's because of that that we all care about ya, Kenshin. Do you think Kaoru or the kid or me would have hung around with you, fought for you and beside you...all those times...if we thought you were just a killer that didn't care? If you didn't care, you wouldn't hurt so much. It wouldn't eat you up inside."

Kenshin allowed the faintest smile to twitch his lips. "I think you're somehow missing the heart of this argument but you're rather difficult to argue with. You're quite stubborn, that you are."

"Damn straight I am. Besides, you made that oath and have been helping out ever since. Think of how many p--"

Kenshin cut him off, his voice quiet and pained. "I violated my oath. I broke it."

Sano stared, speechless and flabbergasted. "Wh...what? You did? When?"

The redhead ran his fingers over the cool glass in his hands. He didn't know why he was talking about all this...maybe it was the fact he had a friend with him after so long...maybe it was a result of his injuries clouding his better judgment ...he didn't know. He usually kept his inner turmoil close to his heart, locked inside where the sun couldn't shine on it, reveal him for the monster he believed himself to be. "About four and a half years ago."

"I was still around then. You didn't kill anyone that I'm aware of."

"I didn't kill anyone, no...and I still have not."

Sano scowled and rubbed at his temple. "Alright, you're confusing me, then. You vowed to never kill again and took up the sakabatou. If you didn't kill anyone, then how did you break that oath?"

Kenshin sighed softly. "The fight with Chou, the sword-collector. I broke my oath in defense of that child, Iori."

Sano frowned. "Buddy, I think you might be losin' it. Chou walked away from all that, got a government job...remember?"

"I did not end his life, but I broke my oath all the same. I was unaware that Master Shakku's last sword was a sakabatou, anything but a regular blade. I drew it and I struck with fatal intent. The fact that he did not die is irrelevant. Fully aware of my actions and their implications, I violated my oath and was going to kill him."

Sano open his mouth and then shut it again, unsure of what to say. He had never considered all the ramifications of that day...none of them had. They had simply pointed out that the sword was a sakabatou and the issue had been largely dropped.

"I also nearly violated my oath in my final training. Had the pin in my sword not been loose...and had I been physically stronger...I would have taken the life of my Shishou. The fact that I did not remains irrelevant...the strike was made with my own hand. My Shishou..." Kenshin's voice dropped off with a slight waver.

Sano frowned more deeply. Kenshin never spoke of Seijuro Hiko, his Shishou... Sano had asked once, on one of the rare occasions he had drug Kenshin away from the dojo and coerced him into a night of drinking and gambling - even if Kenshin did little of the former and none of the latter. Kenshin had been very still and quiet for a long time before answering Sano's innocent inquiry as to who had taught him how to swordfight. He had been well on his way to being drunk, but he never forgot Kenshin's response. "A lonely man with blood on his hands and pain in his heart that gave up on humanity but still had enough love left in him to care for one small, lost boy."

Sano sighed heavily. // I really will have to get him smashed sometime...see if he loosens up any. Getting him to have actual fun isn't easy, he's always so... broody. // "We both know that didn't count. Kenshin, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. Enough with all this for now, alright?" Sano plucked the glass out of the redhead's fingers and then gave him his sakabatou. "Here. Figured you might want this back."

Kenshin closed his hands firmly around the hilt. Even if he was uncertain about his ability to use it, it still felt nice to have his sword back in his hands. // Heh. Even the mighty former Battousai needs his security blanket... // The thought brought a slight smirk to his lips and a bitter chuckle to his mind. // At least my security blanket of choice actually...well... can be used for security. //

"It's about time for you to take your medicine anyhow. 'Sides, it's the middle of the night."

// Medicine?....OH! // "Sano!" Kenshin leapt to his feet and abruptly pitched forward. Sano happened to be standing right there or the redhead might have repeated his earlier performance of introducing his face to the floor. "Sano!" Kenshin dropped the sakabatou, his fingers fisting in Sano's robe urgently.

Sano blinked and helped Kenshin back to his feet, startled by the samurai's sudden urgency. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, Sano! The medicine...I had medicine with me when the bandits attacked me! It was in a small box in a satchel I had with me!"

Sano thought about it. "There wasn't anything like that that I remember from where I found you...the bandits must have taken it to sell to the pawn."

"We have to get it back! There is a sick village in trouble. I promised the man I took the medicine from I would help them. The boat was to leave in three days!"

"Well...fate really DID mean for us to bump into each other. The only ship leaving this port in that time frame is the one I came in on. It leaves tomorrow morning."

Kenshin tightened his grip, trying desperately to convey his urgency...as well as hold his unsteady balance. Even simply standing in place wasn't easy. Sano seemed solid enough, however. "We have to get that medicine back and be on that ship tomorrow morning, Sano."

"You're in no condition to -- " Sano trailed off at the look on his friend's face. He had the feeling that if he didn't say he would help Kenshin, chances were good the samurai would do all that was in his incredibly limited power to do it on his own, and then spend forever blaming himself and beating himself up for his failure. Sano seriously doubted that Kenshin would be able to walk out of the room without help. "Fine. But if the pawn doesn't have it, I don't even know where to start looking."

"I'm coming with you."

"You're NOT coming with me." Sano abruptly sat Kenshin down. The samurai looked startled, and Sano was briefly amazed at how easy it had been to push the stubborn redhead back down. "Kenshin, I won't leave you behind or run off and do something crazy. I won't try and do this myself, I promise.. But I can go to the pawnshop by myself to get what we need, and then I can go see my boss and make sure we have passage. He should let me back on."

"Why wouldn't he, if you work for him?..." Kenshin frowned.

Sano grinned somewhat sheepishly. Even if Kenshin couldn't see it, he could hear the familiar look in Sano's voice. "Well...yesterday when I brought you here I stopped by to see my boss and told him I wasn't going to be going with him anymore, because I...had things to do here." Sano belatedly made the effort to choose his words carefully, not wanting to risk bruising Kenshin's already damaged pride. In reality, he had told his boss he had a sorely injured friend that needed him, and he had to stay behind to take care of him. His boss had understood and offered to take him back on, should they meet up again in the future. Sano didn't figure, however, that Kenshin would care for the implication that he needed such tending no matter if it was true or not.

"Anyhow, I'll make sure I get that box back, get enough medicine and bandages for you to last us the trip, and I'll get us passage on the boat. I can do all that while you rest. You need your energy. Please, Kenshin?"

// And you don't want me slowing you down... ah, well. At least it makes sense. // "Yes, Sano. I'll stay here and wait. Thank you."

"Hey, don't worry about it." After making sure Kenshin was securely back in bed, Sano headed out to take care of business.


	6. Chapter 6

The Sharpest Lives 6 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I'm so going to burn myself out updating two fics every day like this. LOL Oh well. I won't be able to on the days I actually have to work, I'm sure...

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Sano trudged back towards the inn just as the first quivering streaks of gray began to lighten the sky, a prelude to dawn. He had a bag of bandages and herbs to treat Kenshin's injuries for a long while, and in his hands was the small wooden box of medicine the bandits had stolen from the samurai.

It was a good thing that his boss had been willing to take him and an additional passenger for free, because getting that box back had cost Sano so much of his savings that he didn't have enough left to afford to pay for one of them, let alone both.

// Damn. Half a year's worth of pay, down the drain for this...bastard pawn scalped me good. I don't know how he knew how much money I had on me...must be like Kenshin's sixth sense when it comes to sword-fighting. Bastard had money-sense. //

But, despite the disgusting price he had to pay to buy back the little wooden chest, Sano couldn't really bring himself to be too upset about it. It would save lives...and really, that meant more to him than a few months of working on a ship. // And it'll make Kenshin happy. Keep him from beating himself up over it, at least....and gods only know the guy doesn't need any more ammunition for that. //

Sano didn't know if he should be surprised to find Kenshin actually in bed when he returned or not. Some part of him had expected that the samurai would have stubbornly been making the effort to overcome his current difficulties.

"Sano?"

"Yeah, it's me. I have to say, I almost expected you to greet me at the door."

Kenshin squirmed the slightest bit and tried to look innocent. "Ah, well...you told me I should remain in bed, that you did."

Sano narrowed his eyes. "And you, of course, obediently rested there the whole time I was gone."

"Oro..."

Sano sighed. "You WERE up! Dammit, Kenshin, you'll never recover if you don't rest properly. And if that fever gets worse when we're out in the middle of the water, stranded on a ship, you could die!"

"I'm not going to die, Sano...and I'm fine."

Sanosuke snorted. "Typical Kenshin answer. I can't see and can only halfway hear, can't really walk too well and am wearing almost as many bandages as Shishio did back in the day...but I'm just fine, thanks."

Kenshin gave Sano a look that probably would have been something of a glare, had he the use of his eyes. His expression rapidly shifted, however. "Were you...able to recover the box?"

Sano smiled ruefully. "Yeah, I got it. I got all the supplies we'll need for the trip, too. And I brought you a stick."

"Oro? A stick? Why?"

"Eh, figured you could use it as a walking stick or somethin'. Might help until you get used to...er...your condition."

"Ah. Thank you, Sano." Kenshin sat up and accepted the stick. It was actually a staff, roughly six feet long and straight. It rapidly proved to be a tremendous help for standing and a nice, solid brace every time Kenshin's world wobbled under him.

"Well. If ya want, we can just head out to the ship now. They should be getting ready to pull out of here in just a couple hours, and there's no sense in us staying here since we're both already up."

Kenshin paused and was silent for a moment before sighing. "Would you..help me there, Sano? It will be much faster than if I attempt the journey on my own. I'm not...used to this yet."

"Of course I will."

"Well then...let's go."

"Er..."

"What is it, Sano?"

"Probably should get dressed in something other than a house robe first. I picked you up some clothes that WEREN'T a tattered mess while I was out."

Kenshin blushed slightly. "You've thought of everything, haven't you? I'm sorry. My head is still not very clear. This is all very...disorienting, that it is. I must look dreadful."

Sano chuckled and passed the clothing over to Kenshin. "Eh...you're a little banged up and I think you've shrunk since the last time I saw you, but otherwise, you're fine."

"I most certainly have NOT shrunken any, Sanosuke!" Kenshin replied indignantly.

"What? I think it's wonderful that you've kept up your slender, girlish figure over the years while I was away."

The pillow flew with startling accuracy and speed at Sano's face and hit with a muffled thwump. Kenshin smirked in triumph. "Pillow Mitsurugi Ryu."

"Har, har. Finish getting dressed before I DO leave you here."

It didn't take long to pack up their few things and get ready to go. Kenshin waged a bit of a small war trying to get into the hakama and haori Sano had brought for him, and Sano thought better of offering to help when he saw the determination on the redhead's face.

Sano held out his arm for Kenshin, not entirely sure what the best way to go about leading him down to the docks was. There was nothing wrong with his legs and he could walk, he simply had balancing issues. Kenshin took his arm and paused, running his fingers over it gently. "Hm. May I touch you?"

Sano stared for a moment, unable to process the request. "Uh...what?"

Kenshin reached over and turned Sano to face him, fingers trailing up his chest experimentally as a faint smile twitched his lips. Sano was frozen, eyes wide. "Well. That explains it."

Sano swallowed, more than a little confused at Kenshin's actions...as well as wondering why his heart was suddenly hammering in his chest. // Relax...jeez. It's not like he's feeling me up or anything. It's just Kenshin. Another man. // "Explains what? What are you doing?"

"It's not that I've shrunken. You simply have gotten bigger, it would seem. And I'm.. seeing you in the only way that I can for now, with my eyes damaged."

"Oh...right." Sano chuckled weakly. He was more than a little disturbed at the way he had reacted to Kenshin's hesitant, feather-light touch. // What the HELL is wrong with me? //

Kenshin chuckled and patted him on the chest before retaking his arm. They headed out the door. "Solid as a rock, that you are. You must have been training rather hard. You seem to have filled out a good deal."

"Er. Yeah. I've done a lot of physical labor and training over the past few years."

"Perhaps I should have you train me some. Then, perhaps, you could stop teasing me."

"Keh...me, train you?" Sano laughed. "Kenshin, you would kick my ass into next week. Besides...you've already done training that was far more hardcore than anything I've ever done, afraid there isn't much hope for you to have a growth spurt in any direction. It's actually kinda funny."

"Thanks," Kenshin muttered dryly, concentrating very hard on putting one foot in front of the other and not stumbling too much. "At least I don't lack the power to amuse you."

"Eh, people underestimate you all the time. I did myself. You didn't look like much of anything...and then you thrashed me soundly."

"You weren't much of a fighter back then. Better than your average street thug, but lacking in skill and discipline, that you were."

Sano's chest puffed and he scowled indignantly, insulted. "Hey now... y'know, it's times like these I wonder why I even wanted to come back in the first place."

Kenshin smiled slightly. "All teasing aside...I am glad you did, Sano. I missed you. We all did."

"I missed you guys too. Do you... ever think about going back? You've been gone a couple years yourself."

Kenshin was silent for a long moment. "I hope to return someday. Perhaps after this medicine is delivered. I have...not yet found my peace enough to do so."

Sano nodded. He then felt like an idiot, remembering Kenshin couldn't see the gesture. "Yeah... I hear ya."

Their walk to the docks continued in relative silence. The sailors on the merchant vessel were hurrying to take care of last minute preparations, as they wanted to be on their way with the rising of the sun. Sano greeted several of them as he led Kenshin up to the deck of the ship.

To Kenshin's credit, he was starting to get a little more used to things and was stumbling less. Of course, the moment he left dry land and was on the gently swaying ship, he was just as bad off as he had been previously. He was more than a little relieved when they finally were settled into Sanosuke's cabin. Sano led him to the bunk and sat him down.

"There's only one bunk, but I was able to get the captain to loan me a futon. The cabin's not much, but this has been home for the past couple years for me."

"Have you enjoyed life on a ship?"

Sano plunked down on the futon with a yawn. "Eh. It's alright. It has its perks, at any rate."

"Sano, this is your cabin. You don't have to sleep on the floor."

"Too late, I'm already comfortable. 'Sides, you're injured. Anyway, you should lay down and get some rest. I should too. We were up most of the night."

"Alright, I suppose. But once I have recovered some, I won't allow you to sleep on the floor. I don't do so well laying down anyways."

Sano folded his arms behind his head. "Yeah...I can probably count on one hand the times I've seen you sleep anywhere but propped against the wall."

"It is...an ingrained habit. I grow uneasy if I am too relaxed. I suppose that is one reason I felt the need to wander again."

Sano grinned and shut his eyes. "Well, you have nothin' to worry about here, my friend. Sagara Sanosuke is on guard. You can just relax and sleep. I'll protect you for a change, let you have a few nights off."

Kenshin was silent. Sano chuckled, guessing - correctly - that the idea of being protected instead of doing the protecting was not something the samurai cared for much.

"Oh, don't get too used to it. I'll keep you safe until you get better so you can keep me safe for the rest of the time you're stuck with me."

Kenshin smiled. "Very well, Sano. I trust you." The samurai slowly laid his head down, somewhat surprised at the truth of his own words. Despite his general inability to protect himself, he was not worried. Sano would keep him safe. It was...strange... relying on another person for anything, especially protection...but somehow, because it was Sano, it was alright. // Oh, my friend... I believe I missed you more than I even realized. I trust none other the way I trust you. Welcome back, Sanosuke. //


	7. Chapter 7

The Sharpest Lives 7 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Time to turn things up a notch. Mwehehehe.

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Sano woke up a couple hours later with a low mumble. He had somehow lost both his pillow and his blanket while sleeping, and now had a major kink in his neck.

Despite it being mid-morning, the cabin was mostly dark. Only a few fingers of light trailed in over the top of the door, which was slightly too short for the frame. Sano smirked slightly as he looked at it. The door was a makeshift replacement, after the original was broken in a fight with some drunk and unruly passengers. The merchant vessel never took many passengers at any given time, preferring to devote their ship to hauling goods...but when they were loaded the captain would take a few depending on how much room they had.

These passengers, however, had no knowledge of Sano's prowess as the regular crew did. Sanosuke had never been shy about gambling or taking other people's money...and when he had gleefully cleaned out these men, thy had come after him in a rage.

Sano had, to his credit, attempted to walk away. // Kenshin would have been proud, seein' me walk away from a fight. And surprised. // The men had come after him...and ended up flying head-first through Sano's door. And so, the captain had given him a temporary replacement which Sano had never pressed to fix further. The extra light that it let filter in was actually convenient in the morning and early in the evening, giving him just enough to see by without having to light a lamp in the windowless cabin.

The fighter sat up and stretched out, careful to be quiet. To his surprise, neither the motion or the slight sounds he was making disturbed Kenshin in the slightest. // Hm. Either he knows its just me or this is all takin' a much bigger toll on him than he wants to let on. I'm willing to bet it's the latter. I should probably let him sleep. I guess I'll go see how things are up on deck and then come back to check up on him...change bandages and stuff. //

Sanosuke eyed Kenshin for a long moment. The samurai had curled up on one side, sakabatou clutched in a death-grip in his fingers. Sano barely refrained from sighing. // Meh...he doesn't even relax when he's asleep, does he? I guess it would be pretty nerve-wracking to be in that kind of position, though... knowing you're a wanted man with enemies all over and suddenly be unable to protect yourself very well. Poor guy. //

Sano gently brushed a few errant strands of hair from Kenshin's face. // Heh. Hard to believe someone that looks as sweet and innocent as you would even know the first thing about swordplay. // Lost in thought, Sano's thumb lightly drifted across one of the lines of Kenshin's cross-shaped scar.

Sano froze when Kenshin let out a soft breath and shifted slightly, unconsciously leaning into the touch. The fighter swallowed convulsively, eyes widening, not daring to move. Sano's mind finally caught up with his wandering fingers. // What in the fuck am I doing?! This is... it... it's Kenshin, not some girl. // He stalwartly ignored the little voice that whispered in the back of his mind that Kenshin was prettier than most all of the women he had ever known. // But...shit. Guys don't sit around and...and... //

"Sano?"

Sano jerked his fingers back as if he had been scalded, eyes huge. He had been caught! // Not that...that there was anything to catch me doing! // "Y...Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"I..." Sano swallowed. "I was just seeing if your fever had gone down any." // Of course I was. It's not that I'm...getting peculiar or anything. I'm just feeling... I don't know, maternal or protective or something... because he's hurt and vulnerable and I'm watching over him. // "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright."

"Well, since you're awake anyways, I probably should change your bandages." Sano got up and busied himself preparing the supplies the doctor had given him. "I'll be right back, I have to go get some water."

When Sano returned, Kenshin had unwound his bandages. Sano couldn't help but chuckle slightly. "Ugh. I have to say, these herbs look pretty disgusting....but as long as they work, right? Your face is half green."

Kenshin made a face. "Oro...green really is not my color."

Sano snickered and sat down on the edge of the bed to wipe away the remains of the old poultice. When he'd finished, Kenshin hesitantly allowed his eyelashes to flutter open. Sano winced, glad that Kenshin couldn't see his expression. The redhead's eyes were blank, vacant and bloodshot. He had always hated the look of blind eyes - something about it really creeped him out. The fact that THESE were Kenshin's beautiful amethyst eyes with that horrible flat look in them just made it worse.

// Beautiful? Well...yeah, alright. I guess there's nothing wrong with me admitting Kenshin's easy on the eyes. // Sano's thoughts had turned defensive. // Yeah. I mean, pretty is pretty, and there is nothing wrong with me accepting that a guy can be aesthetically pleasing. // Sano was pleased with himself, feeling somewhat better now that he had ascertained this. As if to defy the squirming unease in his mind, he gave Kenshin a good solid once-over with his eyes. // Yeah. When his eyes aren't all screwed up, they're real pretty. I don't think I've ever met anyone else with purple eyes. And I like the hair, too. Everything about Kenshin is...completely different from any other person I've ever met. Wildly different. Not just in appearance. //

"Oro... Sano... is something wrong?"

Sano blinked and flinched, realizing he had stopped moving and was sitting in complete silence. "Oh... no, I was just thinking."

"Oh, dear. Did you hurt yourself? Would you like to lie down?"

"Aren't you the funny one..." Sano smirked and began the process of applying the new poultices after making sure they were mixed properly. "I should just leave you here to fend for yourself if you're going to treat me like that..."

Kenshin frowned. "I'm sorry, Sano. Please don't do that. I need you."

Sano froze for a moment before he was able to convince his hands to start working again, although he wasn't sure how to respond. He was torn between the urge to assure Kenshin he was just teasing and wouldn't leave him as well as a sudden surge of...of what? Even though the thought had danced briefly through his mind, it was strange to think of Kenshin needing HIM for a change, really needing and depending on him enough to admit it and flat out say it. "You know I wouldn't ever abandon you, Kenshin. Especially not when you need me."

Kenshin's soft smile returned. "I didn't think you would, Sanosuke."

Sanosuke finished tying off the bandages. His handiwork wasn't quite as neat as the doctor's had been, but it was passable. "Y'know what, Kenshin?"

"What's that?"

"I think you were on to something with this whole wandering thing."

"What makes you say that?"

"At first, I didn't really know where I was going to go or what I was going to do. I just...felt restless. I couldn't stand just sitting around at the dojo or back at my place. So I figured I'd just...go. No destination in mind."

// That's probably just as well. With your sense of direction, you never would have gotten where you wanted to be. // Kenshin kept his thoughts to himself, although he couldn't entirely hide the grin that was twitching at his lips. Despite his injuries...his spirits hadn't been this high in a very long time. Sano was making him feel damn near...playful. He hadn't had anyone he could tease or relax around since he had left the dojo...and teasing Kaoru was generally more painful than it was worth...and Yahiko was worse. Love them he might, but they hadn't been the friend to him that Sanosuke was.

"Really, it was...I don't know. Refreshing. It really gave me some time to think and put everything into perspective...y'know? To really sort out my life and learn how to be at peace with myself."

Kenshin was silent for a moment, a smile on his lips, but it wasn't clear if it was happy or sorrowful. His tone was likewise unrevealing. "Did you find what it was that you were looking for, Sano?"

"I can't say I found the one big answer...I still feel like there's something I'm missing. I don't even know if there IS an answer. But it was still a really refreshing experience."

Kenshin nodded, briefly allowing his mind to examine his own wandering experiences. His ten years on the road the first time had been damned frightening at first as he struggled to subdue his hitokiri nature, fought to lay the Battousai to rest and regain something of himself. At times it had almost felt as though he had an entirely separate entity within him, threatening to pull him down with shadowy, blood-stained claws and consume him. But slowly, slowly...the relative peace of the open countryside had allowed him to bury his dark nature. You learned much of yourself when you had no one else for company. Kenshin had far, far too many ghosts to lay them to rest as Sano obviously had...but he could easily understand what Sano meant. "It sounds as if a few years have allowed you to grow in more ways than just the physical, that it does."

"Keh...are you sayin' I was immature before?"

"Of course not. Well...not exactly. Maybe a little. Sometimes."

"Well, lucky for you, I DID mature enough to admit that I had my moments in days gone by. I HAVE changed a lot in the past four years. Heh, I even look a bit different. You don't, though. You look exactly like you did the day I left. Hell, on a bad morning I probably will look older than you if I don't shave and whatnot."

Kenshin had to chuckle a bit at that. "I'm a good deal older than you, Sano."

"You sure as hell don't look it. At all."

"And my Shishou, last I saw him, looked exactly as he had the last time I saw him when I was fifteen. I'm beginning to suspect that the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu has a great power to preserve."

"Really?"

Kenshin laughed softly. "Oh, I don't know. I doubt it. But who knows...after some of the things I have seen, not much has the ability to surprise me anymore."

"Eh, that's for damn sure."

Kenshin appeared lost in thought for a long moment. "I do wish I could see you. I have yet to be able to do so since we have been reunited."

Sanosuke blinked as he felt a slight flush in his cheeks. "Eh...something to look forward to, right?"

"Hopefully. But if not, I must prepare myself for the possibility my eyes will not heal and learn to rely more heavily on my other senses. Blindness is something I have dealt with previously..."

Sano frowned. "You'll heal. It'll just take a while."

"May I touch you again?"

"Yeah, if you want to..." // No reason to get all jumpy about it, jeez...the guy can't see so he's compensating. That's all. //

But somehow, that thought fizzled and evaporated as Kenshin's slender fingers slowly slid up his chest, along his throat and through his hair, lightly along his cheeks... // Oh fuck. I can't... this... // All of Sanosuke's comforting denial was going up in smoke as a sudden powerful, painful coil of want spiraled up through him and made his heart thud. // Shit, shit, shit... //

"Your hair is a lot longer..." Kenshin murmured. Indeed, he had a fairly accurate mental picture of Sanosuke by this point, simply editing the one in his head with the details his fingers were relaying to his brain. // He HAS gotten much broader, at least. //

"Yeah..." Sano silently thanked the powers that be that he was able to see without being seen. He took one more long, defiant look at Kenshin, the faint lighting doing nothing to conceal the samurai's slender, sensual grace and too-pretty features. // Sensual? Fuck me... I think I've got the hots for Kenshin. Now what do I do?... This is terrible. //


	8. Chapter 8

The Sharpest Lives 8 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I burned up all my creativity in author's notes in the other fic I'm writing, and that isn't sayin' much. Again, thanks to those few reviewers that I have...you make me feel appreciated. =D I'm sorry that I can't update this one every single day, but I'll still do my best.

On the up side...I have delicious buffalo sticks to munch on. Something about that amuses me horribly, and I know it shouldn't. Maybe I'm just tired.

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In light of his revelation, Sano quickly removed himself from Kenshin's reach. "Well, I think I'm going to go get some air and I'll let you rest, alright?"

Kenshin was a little surprised at how abruptly Sano leapt to his feet, but he didn't comment. "I shall try, at least. I do not feel particularly tired after my nap, however."

"Well, its good for you, so..yeah. I'll...I'll be back later." Sano practically bolted out the door, suddenly desperate to put some space between himself and the too-pretty samurai.

Once outside the door and down the hallway a bit, Sano sagged against the wall with a low groan. // This just isn't possible. I've never even considered considering another male as anything deeper than a friend. I don't swing that way. I'm not attracted to men. //

But if that were entirely true, what was the sudden, near painful sensation that had reared up in his gut? // Hah, maybe that's why I couldn't keep a woman for more than a few weeks! // Even as he thought that, however, Sanosuke knew it wasn't true. His interest in women was still as healthy as ever, and he didn't find the thought of men to be remotely as interesting or erotic.

And then... then there was Kenshin. Sano let out a long sigh. Kenshin was simply in a class all to himself.

Yes, he was male...but dear gods, he was beautiful...that lithe and graceful figure, pale skin, long and silky auburn tail swishing when he moved, those liquid amethyst eyes...

Sano bit his lip as he felt heat pooling in his groin. // Well...guess that settles it then. Kenshin turns me on. Great. //

With a bit of will, Sano squashed his budding desire. A grim chuckle escaped him. // Heh. I can just imagine the ass-beating I would get if I tried to put a move on Kenshin. I don't care how little he is...when he gets that LOOK, he's just fucking scary. //

The fighter squirmed uneasily as he tried to come to grips with his new insight. // Maybe I'm just... I don't know. I haven't had a woman in a long time and Kenshin's the nicest looking critter I've seen lately ...and it's just lust talking. //

No, that wasn't true, and Sano knew it even before he finished the thought. It was more than just simple physical attraction. Everything about Kenshin's personality and who he was struck all the right chords. He was an amazing fighter, honorable, intelligent, quick-witted, good-hearted, trustworthy...he had every redeeming quality imaginable. Sano appreciated Kenshin's quiet wisdom, the way he never tried to impress his beliefs on anyone else. The samurai always took everyone's concerns extremely seriously and would do anything he could even to help a stranger.

Kenshin was the type to give and give and give of himself until he had nothing left...and then somehow find a way to give a little more. He never asked or expected anything in return.

// Yeah...and despite being probably the kindest, most caring and giving person I know... he spends all of his days quietly hating himself. Its....it's maddening. It's a damn shame! It... // Sano stopped dead as a thought struck him. // It's part of the reason I left, isn't it?... I couldn't stand to watch him go about life at the dojo, wearing that adorable but entirely fake smile and pretending like life was happy and normal...when inside he was chewing himself up. There wasn't anything I could do to stop it...and I thought...well. Shit. I thought he and Kaoru had a thing going. It was supposed to be HER job to help crack him open and start healing him, not mine. //

Sano narrowed his eyes in determination. Well, he had been wrong about Kaoru being able to help fix Kenshin. He had left rather than...than what? Watch Kenshin suffer in silence? Or worse, watch Kaoru pretend that Kenshin was alright? It wasn't possible that she TRULY believed all his fake smiles, all the times he insisted he was perfectly fine and happy just so others wouldn't worry about him...was it? Surely she couldn't be that much in denial, that naive.

// Was I....jealous? Did I just not realize it yet? How long is it, exactly, that I've felt this way about my best friend...? //

Another insight slapped Sanosuke upside the head, and it made him swallow convulsively. // Shit. All this means... I'm not just... I don't just lust for him. Am I... am I in LOVE with him? Hah...well, I guess that explains it. I'm not interested in men, but he's simply such an amazing person I fell in love with him DESPITE him being...well. A him. //

Sano ran his fingers through his hair and heaved a ragged sigh as he headed up onto the deck to talk to some of the ship's crew. // What do I do now?... //

After talking to the crew for a while, Sano was able to largely put the problem out of his mind. He swept it under the proverbial mental rug and pretended like it wasn't an issue. Still, he was largely relieved to find that he didn't have even the slightest flicker of interest in any of the other men on the ship. Not all of them were bad looking, either. // So... I guess I'm not entirely crooked. I'm only interested in women and Kenshins. //

After a couple hours of helping out with some of the chores that needed to be done, lunch was announced. The crew happily filtered down to the ship's mess hall. Sano followed, although he declined a few offers of company and instead made a couple plates to go. He didn't suppose Kenshin would appreciate being thrust into a room full of unfamiliar people in his condition.

When he reached his cabin, he blinked at the sight of Kenshin ever-so-slowly making his way around the edges of the room, poking and prodding at random things with his sheathed sakabatou. "Ah...welcome back, Sano."

"I brought lunch. What...are you doing?"

"Familiarizing myself with the cabin. Provided you don't move things around on me, I should not have any trouble getting around from now on."

"Oh. That's good. Want to come eat?"

Kenshin made his way unerringly to the small table and sat down, only weaving a little bit. He was starting to get the hang of things, and it made him feel infinitely better.

Sano's wandering mind locked on Kenshin again, and soon the fighter was staring at the samurai intently as if he expected him to suddenly grow a second head or have an alien burst from his chest. He was guarded and wary, mentally convincing himself that this power Kenshin had over him couldn't possibly be natural.

Kenshin didn't mind enjoying a meal in silence, but he could feel Sano's eyes burning into him. "Sano? Is...something wrong?"

"Yes. And it is ENTIRELY your fault..." Sano finally muttered testily, taking a vindictive bite of his sandwich.

"Oro?..." Sano was not forthcoming with any more information, however. Kenshin hid his frown and nibbled on his food thoughtfully. // Sanosuke certainly is acting strangely of late. Something is bothering him and I can't imagine what it could be. What is he hiding from me....and why would he bother to hide it? Have I somehow angered him? Am I just not good at reading him anymore, with us being apart for so long? // "If...I have offended you in some way, I'm sorry."

Sano sighed. "Nah...forget about it, Kenshin. You didn't do anything."

"You did say it was my fault," the redhead pointed out.

"Trust me. You didn't do anything. I'm just being...stupid. Heh."

Kenshin paused for a moment, waiting to see if Sano was going to elaborate, but didn't push for details. If Sano wanted to talk about it, then he would. It wasn't his place to pry, after all.

After the meal, Kenshin took his medicine before laying back down to rest, and Sano went to go help out on deck.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The same general routine went on for most of the next two weeks. Sano was growing increasingly edgy, and it was starting to eat at even Kenshin's patience, although the stubborn fighter wasn't giving any clues as to what was on his mind.

Kenshin's hearing had begun to return in his damaged ear and seemed to improve every day. With the return of sound, his equilibrium was fully restored as well. His grace and fluidity returned with it, although he still carried the staff Sano had brought for him. While he was able to easily navigate the cabin and most of the ship by this point, he still needed the stick to alert him to any objects that might have been placed in his path that were not there previously.

That evening, Sano sat down to again help tend to his eyes. Kenshin blinked owlishly as the bandage was removed and the last of the herbal poultice was wiped away. He let out a startled little gasp that had Sano peering at him in alarm. "Sano!"

"What? What's wrong?!"

"I ... I can see!"

Sano blinked. "You can?"

"Oro...well. Everything was just...white. I can see...blurs, though. It's not just blank."

Sano grinned. "Well, that's a step in the right direction, for sure. Your eyes don't look all...bloodshot, either." // Still unfocused and vacant, but not...dead. It's a DEFINITE improvement. //

Kenshin smiled. "I was beginning to doubt that they would heal, that I was. I am...greatly relieved that some progress seems to be taking place."

"Well, I guess those herbs must have done some good. We're out of them, though. But I guess it doesn't much matter. They served their purpose. I guess the doctor said they were to help put moisture back into your eyes because it all got fried out in that flash."

"Yes. Although I have to say I'll probably keep them covered for a time. The light still hurts."

"It's only an oil lamp...heh. Sorry."

"I know. I can smell it." Kenshin smiled and took the cloth Sano offered him, wrapping the band around his head. It wasn't a bandage and was a good deal more comfortable, but served to keep the light out. "This is much better."

Sano agreed happily before something rose up inside him and whispered perverse things about a blindfolded Kenshin into his brain. The fighter swallowed convulsively and restrained the urge to slap himself. He must have made some sort of noise, because Kenshin turned towards him in concern.

"Are you alright, Sano?"

Sano sighed heavily. "No, I'm not. I haven't been in a while."

"I have noticed something has seemed a little...off. Do you wish to talk about it? You don't have to if you do not wish, but I am willing to help how I can if you do."

"I was thinking about...something you said. When you asked me if I found what it was I was looking for."

"Yes?"

"When I really thought about it... I did. I realized what it was. It had been there all along, I was just too stubborn to realize it...or too stupid. Or too...closed-minded. Or naive. Or something. I decided without really knowing why that it would be better to go and look for an alternative because what I was looking for was out of my reach. But there wasn't an alternative, and it took me all these years to realize it."

"It sounds like you've had something of an epiphany."

"Yeah, I have."

"Well, I am happy for you. What is it you will do now, Sano?" Kenshin's tone was quiet. He had no idea about what great revelation Sano might have had, but judging from the fighter's odd actions of late, Kenshin was a bit worried that his friend might be leaving him again. It was a sad thought, but if Sano needed to go to further his life and follow his dreams, who was he to stop him?

"I've thought about it a lot since we've been on this ship, actually. And I know what I'm going to do...although it might end with us parting ways and you may never forgive me. I might very well kill our friendship, but I'm not sure I can live with things the way they are now."

Kenshin looked a bit taken aback, although his heart sank. // So he IS planning on leaving. How distressing. I was growing used to his company again. // "I... Sano, it'd take something truly drastic for you to damage our friendship. What on earth are you thinking? You needn't do anything rash, and I'll help out with whatever it is that needs to be done."

// Oh, Kenshin, you can't understand. // Sano sighed heavily as he stared at the little redhead. // I've faced near certain death with less fear than I have at this moment.... // "Kenshin..."

"Yes, Sano?"

Sano shifted and squared his shoulders, gathering up his courage. // Well, there's nothing for it. I can't sit and drool over him forever without him figuring it out, especially since he'll be able to see me again soon if things keep up this way. Besides, I'm not sure I can be around him and...and live with feeling this way if I don't do something about it. Even if he rejects me, I can't just...I have to try. // Sano eyed Kenshin for a long moment before he made his move, lunging forward and hauling the unsuspecting redhead into an almost vicious kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

The Sharpest Lives 9 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Sorry for the delay in posting - I was suffering from work and then exhaustion and the need to sleep. Couple that with fanfiction dot net going haywire all yesterday and it made for an even longer delay for half my crowd. It seems that ffnet is STILL not working entirely up to par, as it isn't allowing me to do any review replies, but...well. Hopefully that gets ironed out soon.

And even if y'all don't expect me to post every day, *I* try and expect it of myself and end up feeling guilty if I don't...because I'm just wired that way, I suppose. Oh well.

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Kenshin was too surprised to react in any way, freezing as his mind tried to catch up to what was going on, eyes pointlessly huge under his blindfold. It took him a long moment of strangled shock to realize he was being kissed and not otherwise assaulted. Oh...wait...SANO was KISSING him?!

The redhead managed a muffled little gasp as Sano's long arms wrapped around him tightly and pulled him in closer. Sano took advantage of the sound, his tongue plunging between Kenshin's parted lips. Kenshin's hands came up to rest against Sano's chest, confusion rampaging through his mind. He had intended to shove the fighter violently away but it was becoming hard to think around his heartbeat thudding in his ears.

What in the name of all that was holy was going on?!

Kenshin's mind just wasn't able to connect the dots. They were both male. He was fairly sure that Sanosuke had NEVER exhibited the slightest interest in the same sex, at least not as far as he knew..and was ENTIRELY certain that he himself had not exhibited any interest in either gender or romance in general. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever expected to ever be on the receiving end of a kiss from another man...let alone have that man be Sano. This just... it wasn't possible. It was like waking up one morning and suddenly finding the sky was yellow with purple polka-dots. It couldn't be happening. It most certainly could not, must NOT continue. This had to stop NOW... he would set Sano straight on the fact that he was violating the truths of the world.

Except... he wasn't shoving the fighter away. It was becoming impossibly hard to think. He hadn't kissed anyone since... well, not since he was married. That was over fifteen years ago... and it had never, never been like this. This was... this was hot and hard and passionate and utterly dominating, demanding and begging for his submission all at the same time, relighting fires deep within him that he had thought long since burned out beyond hope of sparking again.

Sano felt the change as it sank into Kenshin, in the way the redhead slowly relaxed and...oh, impossible... hesitantly returned his kiss. Kenshin's fingers curled in his jacket rather than shove him on his ass or do some sort of violent samurai chop at his vitals, as he had expected.

With Kenshin's acquiescence, Sano relaxed and let up on the urgent near-violence of his actions. Now that he was apparently going to get the chance to demonstrate his feelings, he didn't feel the need to rush and cram as much intensity into each second. His grip shifted, one arm curling around Kenshin's slender waist and the other threading through that wonderfully luxurious hair. His kiss turned from a desperate act of ravishing to a leisurely, thorough and intimate caress, engraving the sensation and the taste of this delicious creature into his mind forever.

Reality finally started to cut through the haze in Kenshin's head as a sudden need for air arose and he felt his cheeks starting to burn. Everything started to sink in.

Reality caught up to Sano around the same time. Oh. Oh, my god. This...this wasn't possible. What in the hell had he been thinking? // That's right, I WASN'T thinking! // And now... now he had Kenshin tight against him, practically sitting in his lap...and he was pretty sure his tongue was trying to crawl down the samurai's throat. // If he doesn't kill me, it'll be a miracle... but I just had to have a taste, no matter the consequences. //

Sano released Kenshin abruptly as panic and common sense began to outweigh the pleasant, heated fuzz in his brain. Kenshin rather ungracefully slid back from him, chest heaving and a slight quiver running through his limbs. Sano swallowed thickly and looked away, unable to stand the too-alluring sight of the pretty redhead, lips all kiss-swollen and cheeks flushed.

It was a long time before either of them broke the awkward silence. Sano got up abruptly and headed for the door. "I..." He stopped and cleared his throat, flushing a bit at the way his voice cracked. "I think I should go and...see if they need any help up on deck."

The fighter flinched when Kenshin finally spoke up, just as he was reaching for the door handle. "Sano...wait."

Sanosuke froze before slowly turning around, swallowing hard.

Kenshin's voice was soft , his expression unreadable. "We need to talk, Sano. Running won't solve anything."

"Running? I wasn't....well...maybe a little..." Sano hesitantly made his way over to the table and sat down, giving Kenshin a somewhat guilty look. "Fine..look, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just....I mean..." Sano sighed heavily.

"You don't have to apologize, Sano. I'm not upset."

"You aren't? I figured you'd probably try to kill me. Painfully."

The ghost of a smile flickered across Kenshin's lips. "No, Sano. But you DID catch me off guard...that you did."

// Got you off guard once, did I? How does THIS one strike you? // "I think I'm in love with you."

Kenshin started visibly, his mouth dropping open but no sound coming out. Sano forged ahead with a rueful smile.

"I know, it was a bit of a surprise to me too. I didn't even realize it until...until I got to see you again. And I realized what a moron I probably am for not realizing it sooner. You're probably disgusted, seeing as how I'm a guy and all. I know I wasn't at all okay with that myself but it didn't matter enough. I'm not interested in men at all, but then...then there's you. YOU are an incredible person and I'll never meet anyone else like you in my life and you aren't...corny and horribly cliche as this might sound... you aren't like other guys."

"Sano, I... I don't know what to say."

Sano couldn't help but smirk at that. "Hah...that's not the response I usually get from you. You ALWAYS know what to do and what to say."

Kenshin snorted. "Oh, Sano, that's hardly true."

"Sure it is. But anyway...don't worry about it. I should probably go. I know I really overstepped my boundaries and you probably don't want anything to do with me now. I am sorry for that..."

"No...I ... Don't apologize. Don't go."

"You...still want me to stick around?" Sano was a bit surprised.

Kenshin mulled over his words before speaking carefully. "Yes. No matter what happens, you are still my friend, Sano. I'm... very flattered that you're so interested in me. I am not...upset, merely surprised. I would really rather you didn't leave."

Sano chuckled half-heartedly. "I didn't want to leave anyway, but I take it its safe to assume you aren't interested. I suppose I'm just lucky you didn't kick my ass."

"I have no reservations about doing so when I feel you need it, Sano. I've done it more than once before. However, I'm just... I..." Kenshin trailed off, trying hard to figure out what he wanted to say. "I do not believe a relationship would be ... be..." The samurai sighed. "I'm sorry, Sano. Please don't take it personally."

"Really, I'm not too surprised. It's alright." Sano tried to keep his tone light - after all, it was the truth. He hadn't expected to sweep Kenshin off his feet, after all. But still, some part of him had hoped...

Kenshin scowled. "You have the wrong idea, Sano. I may not be able to see you, but I know you well enough to know you're upset." His expression softened. "And I'm very sorry for that."

"Wrong idea? About what? Look, I can understand you not being interested in me, or guys in general. Or whatever. You don't have to explain."

"It's not like that, Sano. It has nothing to do with you, personally. It...its just not a good idea to get too close to me."

Sano's gaze snapped up. // Oh-ho, there it is. I should have known! // "Ah, I see. Anyone that gets close to you will get hurt because of who you are, is that right?"

Kenshin frowned. He had a feeling this was about to go poorly. "Yes. Sano, I haven't...I... When I was fifteen, I was married. That was the last time I was in a relationship of any sort."

Sano blinked, abruptly taken aback. Kenshin? MARRIED? "I didn't know...what happened?"

Kenshin was silent a very long time, and Sano began to suspect the samurai wasn't going to answer him. Kenshin finally did speak, and it was with a great deal of effort and pain. "I killed her, Sano. She died by my sword."

Sano gaped like a landed fish. He knew Kenshin had been a hitokiri, but still... "There's more to it than just that. I refuse to believe you'd kill her for no reason."

"It is a long story. I...killed her fiance under orders and he gave me half of this scar." Kenshin's fingers were lightly touching the vivid X on his cheek. "She... it... I'd rather not talk about this."

Sano felt terrible when he saw how pale Kenshin was, and the way he was trembling but clutching the blanket, trying to hide it. "Kenshin, you don't have to. It's alright, I'm sorry I asked."

"No...its not your fault." Kenshin sighed heavily. "It is a long story. She wanted revenge. Over time, however, she came to love me but things were already set in motion. She was taken from me. I went after her, believing I was betrayed, but I...I had to know for sure. I was wounded severely on the way, and entered into a fight I could not have won. I... was only half alive. I wasn't even aware of my surroundings. She... joined the battle to save my life, and I ended up taking hers. She herself gave me the other half of this scar. I made my oath to stop killing as soon as the war was over as she died in my arms." Kenshin trailed off. He had never intended to tell that story, not to anyone.

Sano didn't know what to say. He had a powerful urge to hug Kenshin, comfort him, but held back. He wasn't sure how the samurai would react, considering how moments before he had jerked him into an unwanted kiss. He blinked when Kenshin spoke again.

"Please understand, Sano. I ... I care about you a great deal. If something were to happen to you, I would mourn for the rest of my life."

Sano was floored, and he felt his heart wrench. "I'm not weak, Kenshin. I'm not some easy target for a would-be assassin. I am truly sorry for what happened to you...don't ever think otherwise. But that doesn't mean you should live the rest of your life and keep everyone away. I don't think she would have wanted that for you. She sacrificed herself so you would LIVE, not just exist."

Kenshin was silent for a long moment before chuckling, although it had a bitter sound to it. "Perhaps I should have instead told you I was not interested in being in a relationship with a man?"

Sano narrowed his eyes at Kenshin, suddenly suspicious. Well, hell, why HADN'T Kenshin started with that excuse? That was the easy way out, after all... and Kenshin hated talking about his past. Why on earth would he dredge up what had to be one of his most painful memories rather than give a different, perfectly good and solid excuse? // Because he didn't want to lie to me, that's why...! // "Why didn't you?" Sano asked before he could think to stop himself.

Kenshin fidgeted slightly, suddenly feeling caught. "I... I wanted to give you the more truthful answer, Sanosuke."

"The idea of being with another male doesn't horrify you?" Both eyebrows had hiked to his hairline and Sano's gaze was intense on the redhead.

"It... I never even considered it before. The thought never crossed my mind. I just... I'm not interested in being in a relationship with anyone, thats all."

A triumphant grin suddenly broke out on Sano's face. // So that's how it is. It's not because I'm a guy or even that he has no interest, although he's not admitted to anything. It all boils down to his belief that he doesn't deserve anyone and is afraid people would get hurt because of him. Well, I'm not that weak and I refuse to let him keep eating himself alive. // "I get it, now."

Kenshin heard the change in Sano's tone and was instantly wary. "You...do, do you?"

"Yep. Should have realized it sooner...it's so typical of you. Well, let me tell ya how this is gonna work."

Kenshin was extremely guarded now. Sano was up to something... "Alright..."

The samurai blinked when his hand was suddenly caught in Sano's. Sano's voice was very serious. "You're afraid I'll get hurt, or convinced that you don't deserve anyone. I'm not as weak as that and I think you, above all others, deserve to be happy after all the sacrifices you've made for everyone else. You had to do some bad things along the way, but it was all for the greater good in the end, even if your heart won't let you forgive yourself for what needed to be done."

Whatever protest Kenshin might have made died as Sano lifted his hand and kissed it gently. A violent blush exploded on the redhead's cheeks and he ducked his head to hide it behind his bangs, his words vaporizing in his throat, unspoken.

"Because you've NOT told me that you would be completely repulsed at the thought of being with a man, I intend to court you. I'll show you that you don't have to worry for me and that you don't have to be alone."

"S..Sano!" Kenshin blurted out, although he didn't really know what to say, how to protest. This was...was preposterous! It couldn't happen, and Sano couldn't possibly be serious, could he?...

Sano grinned and let Kenshin's hand go, straightening and sauntering towards the door. "I'm going to go help out the crew. After all, I have to pull my weight around here if I expect to repay the boss for letting me come with him after I quit. You can rest and I'll see you at dinner."

"W-wait, Sano! Y-you...but...I...!" Kenshin didn't have the slightest idea what to say, and Sano simply chuckled to himself, whistling a happy little tune as he headed out the door.

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A/N - Kenshin just got owned. XD


	10. Chapter 10

The Sharpest Lives 10 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I don't know why, but this chapter gave me fits. Ah, well. Bull through it and hopefully the next comes a little easier. This one...not sure how much I like it. Oh well. Better than nothing?

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Kenshin was, of course, entirely unable to get anything remotely resembling rest after what had just happened. He still had trouble really believing it...but Sano had been entirely serious, especially if that kiss had been anything to judge by.

Kenshin felt his cheeks flaring up at the memory that stuttered through his mind in bursts and flashes. Never had he experienced something quite like THAT before. In a split second, everything he had thought he had known about lust and passion had been shattered and rewritten...and even if nothing at all ever came of it, he would never forget it. The sensation was burned indelibly into his soul.

How very strange, to be so...dominated. That in and of itself had brought a curious myriad of feelings. Had Kenshin ever paused to think about it, he would have automatically assumed he would definitely not like it. Despite the teasing he had often received, he was not a girl and would not appreciate being treated like one. But Sano had assuredly recognized, by his own admission, that Kenshin was no girl.

Sano.

Good gods, it was almost too far fetched to believe. If he had been a third party and been told of the situation, he probably would have laughed. The thought of Sagara Sanosuke wanting to be intimately involved with another male was...was ridiculous! He had always had a very healthy interest in women, even if he tended to be a little rough around the edges and generally would say something to screw up a prospective relationship in fairly short order. Sano was a striking example of masculinity. He was admittedly handsome, tall, well muscled...although Kenshin had yet to see him since their reunion.

// Still, ultimately, it will be the same Sano...acting tough but with a heart of gold. That sheepish smile or cocky grin... and I can practically imagine that self-assured swagger, the way he puffs up all indignantly when someone challenges his precious pride. // A smile flickered across Kenshin's face, even as some part of his mind whispered in silky, sibilant tones. // The way those arms wrapped around me, held me... //

Kenshin sat up with a start, surprised at himself and the traitorous little voice. // Oro...maybe I need some air. Sitting in this cabin all the time cannot possibly be good for me. I spend too much time thinking as it is. // Mind made up, the samurai swung himself out of the bunk, securing his sakabatou at his waist and picking up his walking stick He made his way unerringly out of the cabin, making a mental note to thank Sano sometime for the fighter's caution in making sure that everything remained exactly where it was. Sano wasn't usually the best housekeeper, so Kenshin appreciated the extra effort.

Soon the samurai found himself on the deck and leaning against the rail, finding the sea breeze and the sun-warmed spray of water on his skin as the ship moved along under full sail. The wind was good, the canvas was full, and they were making good time.

Kenshin greeted the few sailors who greeted him as he made his way back off the deck. Most were friendly, and he had come to recognize them by voice. There were a few that weren't quite so nice, however...but that was humanity, wasn't it?

Something pricked at Kenshin's senses as he made his way back into the hallway where Sano's cabin was. He stopped in his tracks, senses straining to catch whatever had alerted him. A low voice chuckled in front of him, and it was not a pretty sound. Kenshin let out a small sigh. He recognized that voice.

"Well, well, if it isn't the little samurai," the voice sneered. Kenshin had never seen the man, but he had painted a mental picture. Tall, gap-toothed and burly, scar-covered and bald. Likely missing an eye or ear or some other such feature. Kenshin's imagination actually proved fairly accurate.

"Good afternoon, Jino, sir." The redhead knew it wasn't going to work, but he made an effort to walk past anyway. Jino and his friends - three others, by the sound of it, one in front and two behind him - shifted to block his path.

"Why you in such a hurry, boy?" Jino growled.

"I am tired and wish to rest. I am still injured and do not wish to strain myself unnecessarily." This was only partially true. Although he still felt a little weak from the aftereffects of the fever he'd suffered and other injuries, he had mostly healed. Still... it wouldn't be prudent to overexert himself.

Jino chuckled and jabbed at Kenshin's chest with one thick finger. "You scared, boy? Hah...a pretty little thing like you I could break in half with one hand."

"I have no desire to fight you or be broken in half, that I do not. Please step aside."

"Who'd you steal that sword from? No one wears steel openly these days and yer too young. Was it your father's? Or are you just some petty thief?"

Kenshin sighed wearily. "I am not so young as you might think, sir. Please step aside."

"Or what?"

"Why do you feel the need to instigate a fight with me, Jino? As far as I am aware, I have never done anything to cross you or yours."

"Not so brave without your big bad Sagara here to protect you, is that it, pretty boy?"

// This is getting absolutely absurd. // Kenshin refrained from rolling his eyes. They were still sore and the motion was unpleasant.

The big brute took a step forward so he was closer to Kenshin. Kenshin could practically hear the sneer on his face and the man's foul breath almost knocked him senseless. "You see, boy...your man Sagara took a lot of money from us, and we're not too fond of it."

"Sanosuke stole from you?"

The man growled, his tone reluctant. "We were playin' dice."

"So you lost fairly."

"Shut yer trap or I'll rip you in half. In fact, I might anyways. Send a message to Sagara by smashing his little bitch's pretty little face in. How does that sound, boy?"

// I must send out some sort of signal that draws these sorts of people to me. I can't go anywhere, seriously. They find me on a ship in the middle of the bloody sea. I can understand those that seek revenge after the revolution, but how do I end up in so many conflicts with random ruffians? Well, I suppose this is something of fallout from Sano's bad habits.. .but still. // "I really wish you would just leave, and take your friends with you. I have no desire to fight you."

"What sort of fight can a blind whore put up anyway? No, this is just a beating."

The fight was over almost as soon as it began. Kenshin ducked Jino's first swing, his staff coming forward to slam into the man's gut. Almost immediately, he shot the staff backwards, the other end clipping one of Jino's friends in the face. One of the other two got a solid punch in on the side of Kenshin's face and received a rapid strike upside the head with the wooden pole. A quick spin and a sharp whack dropped the last man moaning to the ground.

Kenshin winced and rubbed at his jaw ruefully, sure that he would have a nasty bruise there in fairly short order. His fingers came back slightly damp with blood - perfect, he was cut as well. The sailor must have been wearing a ring. // Ah, well. For not being able to see them it sounds like I did fairly well. //

Kenshin's spine stiffened as he heard the slither of steel being drawn near him, and he responded with a rapid strike of his staff. Jino howled as his hand was smashed. The next blow shut him up and rendered him unconscious again. The samurai shook his head and stepped over the sailors, heading into Sano's cabin further down the hall and laying down to wait for his friend's return.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The door flew open as Sano hurried into the cabin. "Kenshin?!"

Kenshin sat up, his tone calm. "Yes, Sano?"

"You didn't happen to have anything to do with Jino and his boys laying out in the hallway, did y-- Shit, your face..."

"I'm fine, Sano. They seemed to have an issue with losing some money to you over dice and decided to use me as a way to get at you. Ironic, I'm usually on the other end of that situation. Minus the money part."

Sano chuckled darkly. "Well, they picked the wrong damn person to target...I'm going to--"

"Sanosuke, leave it be. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and there is no need to borrow any more trouble than you already have." Kenshin heard the sound of water, and then Sano was sitting beside him.

Sano carefully removed the wrap from Kenshin's eyes before gently working at cleaning the cut on Kenshin's cheek. "Eh, it doesn't look too pretty but its not serious."

"You worry entirely too much sometimes, Sanosuke." Kenshin's eyes locked on the fighter. He could vaguely make out Sano's shape...a dark blur of slight motion against the painfully white void filling the rest of his vision.

"No, I just don't like people touching what's mine, whether or not you're invincible."

"I'm not invincible, and..." Kenshin stopped, aware that he must be blushing. "I think its far too early for you to make any such claims, Sano..."

Sano smirked. "The simple fact that you don't deny the eventual possibility means its only a matter of time and you intend to give me a chance."

Violet eyes widened and Kenshin tried to duck his head, wanting the shield of his bangs, but Sano had caught his chin.

"Ah-ah, none of that...how am I supposed to clean this cut if you don't look at me?" Sano finally paused and leaned back to both examine his handiwork and admire Kenshin's features. He really did love those brilliant amethyst eyes...they were so expressive and gave Kenshin such an innocent look. Dear gods, but he wanted to kiss him again, taste him...but he didn't. He had promised to make some effort at courting, and that meant keeping his hormones more or less at bay. "You know, you're cute when you blush."

"S-Sano!" Kenshin squirmed out of Sano's grip.

"What? I'm just being honest."

"Oro..." Kenshin mumbled. "I'm not 'cute'."

Sanosuke laughed. "Oh yes, you are. Especially when you pout like that."

"I most definitely am NOT pouting." Kenshin's spine had stiffened in indignation, and Sano backed off with a grin. There was a line he shouldn't cross between teasing and injuring the samurai's pride, after all.

"Fine, fine. I brought dinner, if you want to come share it with me. I was going to make the effort of getting some fancy candles and stuff but you'd be amazed how hard it is to find things like that on a merchant ship. You'll have to settle for my good intentions."

"You're actually serious about this whole courting thing, aren't you?"

Sano blinked. "Well...yeah, did you think I wasn't? I thought I made myself pretty clear, all things considered."

Kenshin's mind immediately and obediently replayed the kiss. "I...I guess its just hard for me to believe and accept. I never would have expected it. Don't you...even barring the obvious reasons, I'm not good for you."

"Why not?"

"I'm almost ten years older than you."

"So what? Look, here's the way I see it. We just work, alright? We compliment each other. I've got strength and you've got speed and skill. And the brains. In fact, you pretty much outclass me..." Sano paused before shaking it off and continuing. "I damn well wouldn't trust anyone else to have my back, and I respect you. You have no trouble either sittin' and chattin' if I need to talk or have a problem...or kicking my ass when I'm being damned stupid and need it. If it wasn't for you, who knows where I would have ended up? But the point is...everything I need happens to be everything you are. And it doesn't hurt that you're...well... attractive." // Pretty...beautiful...sexy as all hell. Now that I admit it to myself, it just hits home so much harder. I don't know how I could ever have NOT noticed it, I must have been in denial...but probably best not to go too far yet. Don't want to scare him off, and he doesn't appreciate people insinuating he's feminine, even if it is the truth. // "It...doesn't even matter to me at all that you're...well. A guy. It just isn't important compared to how I've come to feel about you...how I've probably felt for years."

Kenshin was silent, a faint smile twitching his lips. He WAS flattered, whether or not he wanted to admit it to Sano or himself.

"And I know you'll want to deny it, but the fact is...you need someone too. You can't just run around by yourself forever. You know I'm no easy target. You wouldn't have to worry much about me."

"I would anyways."

Sano smiled and then grabbed Kenshin's hands, causing the redhead to jump in surprise. "Give me a chance, Kenshin. And if it doesn't work, then fine. If you really want me to drop the whole thing, tell me and I will...but give me a chance first. Please?"

// Here it is. My one good, solid chance to end this before things get too far out of hand. I'll just let him down gently, I don't want to hurt him. // "Alright, Sano. I'll give you your chance. I can't promise you anything, though." // Wait, what?! //

Sano grinned before leaning forward and brushing his lips gently across Kenshin's forehead, his voice a low murmur. "I promise you won't regret this."

Kenshin fumbled through a hundred different things to say, his mouth and his brain obviously not on speaking terms with each other, idly wondering if blushing too much could hurt someone. All his flustered mind could produce, however, was one little word. "Oro..."


	11. Chapter 11

The Sharpest Lives 11 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I'm doing it again...this is slowly growing well beyond my previous intentions. At this rate, it'll be Pride version 2. Oh well. If any of you like my crazy that much, I just posted the first chapter of my newest bit of work - a colab RK / IY crossover. It's actually a...ficced version of an RP with the wonderful Liera Antionette...so you can read it if you like. XD It's called "Of Doom!".

Sorry that this has taken so long to get out. Jess has had things to do besides sit at her computer and write stories all by herself of late....a good thing for me, not-so-good for my more rabid fans. ^_^;; I've been taking a little vacation, as it were. Doing some research, actually reading the RK manga instead of just going off the anime, working on making an extensive birthday present for a friend...lots of stuff. So updates will be slow until I get some of the things off my plate...but no worries. I'll be back in the saddle soon enough.

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The next week saw a vast improvement in Kenshin's vision. Slowly, the blank white nothingness had begun to give way to dark shadows. As time passed, the shadows became shapes and grew more distinct. The white faded and color began to slowly, blearily return to Kenshin's world. At the end of the week, he could see poorly but passably in dim lighting. Bright light, such as the sun, was still too painful for him...but Kenshin was entirely too relieved to get his vision back as much as he even had to care.

Ironically, with the return of his blurry eyesight, Kenshin did not get around as well as he had blind. Some objects weren't distinct and he often simply didn't see some things and crashed into them. It didn't take long for him to relent and reluctantly admit that relying on his eyes was still not a good idea. He remained blindfolded outside of the cabin during the day, but he hated wearing the thing and kept it off while in the more or less dark room. He knew where everything was and wouldn't make an idiot out of himself tripping on things.

Seeing Sano again...actually seeing him... had done Kenshin good. His mental image had been fairly accurate. His friend was less lanky and had grown broader and more muscular. His hair was still spiky and wild, if a bit longer...but it was still Sano. Imagining that wide, cocky grin wasn't quite the same as seeing it.

In fact, it put Kenshin in a good enough mood that he finally gave in to Sanosuke's prodding and agreed to go and join him and some of the crew in their nightly games. Sano had cheered when the little samurai had relented to his argument and practically drug Kenshin down the hallway.

Kenshin blinked owlishly when they finally entered the mess hall. The room was lit by many oil lamps and, while not bright, it was pushing the level of Kenshin's tolerance. However, Sano seemed so excited to have finally hauled him out of the cabin and into the public that Kenshin would deal with it.

The room was noisy, filled with talking, laughter, and mostly good-natured insults. Several of the crew remarked on Kenshin's atypical presence and the redhead simply smiled.

It took all of two minutes before the first sake was thrust in front of him, by none other than Sano wearing an absolutely rakish grin.

"Sano, I probably shouldn't..." Kenshin attempted to politely decline.

// Not getting out of it THAT easily...you need to loosen up some, have some fun and forget about all that crap that's in your pretty little head... // "Oh, come on, Kenshin. You agreed to come out and have fun. Drinking is part of that experience. Don't worry, I'll drink with you."

Kenshin snorted. "Sano, you could drink me under the table and not be the slightest bit affected and we both know it. I've never had much tolerance for the stuff."

"Aw, come on, Kenshin. Don't worry. I won't let anyone take advantage of you."

Kenshin shook his head with a slight smirk. "And what if its not everyone else doing so that I fear?"

Sano puffed out his chest, the perfect picture of wounded indignation. "I would never do anything like that. I've had MORE than ample opportunity to do anything I want without you being able to do a damn thing in return. And furthermore, I--"

Kenshin chuckled a bit and patted the fighter on the arm, sensing a full-blown rant coming on. "Easy, Sano...I know. I was only teasing. You've been very good to me."

Sano was somewhat mollified before again nudging the sake closer to Kenshin. "C'mon. We're having fun. One or two drinks won't kill ya."

Kenshin finally relented. He had agreed to this, after all. "Oro...fine, fine." To satisfy his companion, Kenshin took a sip of the sake. It was surprisingly good.

It didn't take long after that before a hand of cards was thrust into his face and Kenshin was roped into playing. His vision was still rather blurry and he had never been much good at cards to begin with, so he lost terribly. Even still, it wasn't a bad experience. Everyone was laughing and joking and having a good time. Somehow, sake kept appearing in front of him, and Kenshin ended up drinking the first few rounds because they were good and the next several because they were there and appearing as if by magic.

It occurred to the redhead that he was feeling pleasantly warm and disconnected, having hit that one magical drink too many. By this point his eyesight was fuzzy enough that he could barely make out the shapes of his cards, let alone what might be printed on them...but he found he didn't care.

Sanosuke finally chuckled and yawned, stretching and finishing off his last bottle. He grinned at Kenshin, who was squinting intently at his cards. "It's pretty late, we should probably be heading back."

Kenshin waved him away idly. "No...I think I'm winning this time."

Sano snickered and plucked the cards out of Kenshin's fingers. The redhead blinked several times as if unable to figure out where the fuzzy white blurs in his hand had just went. "The game's been over for fifteen minutes."

The samurai peered blurrily at him, a disbelieving look on his features. Finally, a triumphant and rather un-Kenshin-like smirk appeared on his lips. "Oh. I see. You're just worried because you were going to lose."

Sano couldn't help but chuckle at the slur in Kenshin's words and his satisfied expression. // Well, what do you know. I was right. Finally get the guy sloshed and he does loosen up and enjoy himself. Good. // "Come on. Lets get back to the cabin. Its late and I have some stuff to do in the mornin'." Unlike Kenshin, a few hours of moderate drinking and gaming had been enough to give him a pleasant buzz but hardly enough to get him drunk.

Sano stood up and hauled Kenshin to his feet. The samurai wobbled before clutching at Sano's jacket. "Sano, why is the ship rocking so much?"

"A little too much sake, that's why."

Kenshin appeared to consider this for a moment as Sano led him out of the hall and towards his cabin. It was all the redhead could do to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving properly. Sano seriously wondered, by the time they made it to the cabin, if it wouldn't have been easier to simply pick Kenshin up and carry him...although Kenshin was being rather obstinate at the moment and Sano doubted that such a thing would have been allowed.

It was with a good deal of relief that the two of them were safely ensconced in Sanosuke's cabin. Kenshin pushed free of him and wavered his way across the room. Sano blinked, expecting him to fall at any moment with the way he was staggering, but Kenshin amazingly kept his balance and made his way to the bed, sitting down and flashing Sano a wide grin.

Sano couldn't help but grin a bit in response as he began dragging his futon out and setting it up. He was pretty tired - it was late, after all. "You look like you're in a pretty good mood."

"Oh, yes. It is a wonderful night. I feel warm." The samurai paused for a moment as if thinking hard, and Sano didn't miss the change in his tone of voice, even if he couldn't fully place it. For some reason, it made him wary. "Sano..."

"Yeah?"

"Come over here for a second. I have somethin' important to tell you."

Sano blinked and then walked over. "What is it?"

"Sit down. You're too tall and I don't want to yell." Kenshin pouted and Sano bit his lip, not daring to make a comment about how adorable he found the expression to be.

Sanosuke obediently sat down and half turned to look in Kenshin's direction. "Alright...what is it, Kenshin?"

It was safe to say Sano had never before seen the expression that passed over the little samurai's face then. Violet eyes darkened and smoldered with perhaps the most intensely seductive fire Sanosuke had ever witnessed. Before the suddenly startled fighter could react, he had a lapful of redhead. Kenshin's arms hooked around his neck and pulled him into a kiss that was written of hunger and aggression and seduction.

Sano was a bit too surprised to react. Surely, this was something he had been fantasizing about for who knew how long...and the way he tasted and felt...and god, the way that lithe little form was wriggling in his lap! It was wonderful, it was painfully arousing...and it was SO not like Kenshin.

It took some effort to free himself from the enthusiastic redhead's embrace. "K-Kenshin! What are you doing?!"

Kenshin's voice was a low, silky purr. "I should think you should be able to figure that out, Sano..."

// Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate myself so much right now. // "Kenshin, I don't think you should do---ahh!" Sano's weak protest trailed off into a startled yelp as Kenshin shifted position in his lap, the samurai's knee suddenly wedged between his thighs and pressed up against his groin tightly in a way that was horribly impossible to ignore.

Sano felt the very fragile threads of his self control starting to snap and drift away in the breeze. Vainly, he clawed to maintain some sort of grip on them, his hands snapping up to Kenshin's waist in an effort to...pull him closer?... push him away?....

"Kenshin, you're...really drunk. And god I...nnn...stop that...." It took all of Sano's willpower to withstand the teasing little nudge the redhead had just given him. "Kenshin, you don't....fuck. We can't. Not like this."

"What, are you saying that I don't know what I want?" Kenshin's expression had turned into something of a pout.

"Yes. I am. You're really drunk and I'm...not sure I'm all here myself...and I don't want you to hate me in the morning."

Kenshin's expression turned to a deeper pout. "I am not THAT drunk, Sanosuke...I'm in perfect control."

"You are?"

"I most certainly am. If the ship wasn't spinning so much, I would show you just how in control I am. But its makin' me dizzy. I think I'm going to take a nap."

Sano made another effort to extricate himself, both relieved and mentally clobbering himself at the same time. "Thats...not a bad idea. I think I'll go to sleep myself....er....can you....let me up?"

"You don't haveta sleep on the floor..." Kenshin mumbled, having half collapsed against Sano's chest. "Stay here with me. S'more comfortable and you feel nice."

"But...." Sano sighed, his protest dissipating. Well, fine then. He had made a damned heroic effort in resisting the devastating temptation thus far...he'd reward himself with a little cuddle time...and hopefully he'd be able to will away his nearly painful arousal before morning came around. Everything he wanted offering itself to him on a silver platter, and he was turning it down?

// I must be a damned fool... // Sano muttered to himself, hooking an arm around the already unconscious Kenshin. // ... A damned fool, indeed. God, he better appreciate this.... //


	12. Chapter 12

The Sharpest Lives 12 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I know, I know. I vanished without much warning. I apologize. Lots of stuff happened.

So I decided to take a go at this professional authoring thing, though I'm not sure I'm quite good enough. We'll see. I need to survive somehow. So I spent a bunch of time trying to make a website and then ultimately switching everything up entirely...so I have to make the site all over on a new server and I'm html stupid. Couple that with the fact I have virtually no net access right now....well. Yeah. And my muse took off on me...writer's block like ya wouldn't believe.

Not sure if I'd have anyone interested in subscribing to a web serial or not - it'll be high fantasy, sword and sorcery and all that good jazz, some of my original works. Probably a chapter a week (bigger than these ones), pretty cheap. Would anyone be at all interested? Just drop me a line (if I get any responses to this it'll make me a lot more motivated to get the site up and running, that's for sure.)

Anyway! I'm gonna try and get back on the ball writing and stuff...I just have NOT felt my muse lately and it's made things rough. No motivation to get up and go and all that.

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Everything was warm and fuzzy and comfortable. Kenshin couldn't remember being so reluctant to crawl towards consciousness as he was at that very moment. He felt oddly secure and cozy. While the latter wasn't unheard of, feeling secure and safe wasn't something he could remember feeling for a very long time, if ever. It was quite nice, really...

Wait...what?!

Kenshin's eyes snapped open with almost audible force. The first thing he noticed was that the reason he was so entirely cozy was that he had been curled up against Sano, fitting perfectly against him. His head had been comfortably tucked under Sano's chin and his body curled against the fighter's warm, lean frame. One of Sano's arms was still wrapped loosely around his waist and the fighter was breathing peacefully, sound asleep.

// What in...how in the hell did I... // Kenshin's mind was abruptly whirling out of control and he sat up quickly. He immediately regretted it as the full effects of his previously quiescent hangover awakened angrily, setting his head to throbbing and his stomach to churning. His confusion dissolved into a low moan as his hands slid up to clutch at his pounding skull.

Sano was jerked awake at Kenshin's initial rush of movement and his eyes opened fuzzily. "Mrr..."

Kenshin struggled to squash the little thing running about in his brain that was screaming and frantically flailing its arms, panicking about his complete inability to remember anything of the previous night. // Dear gods, what did I DO?! // Violet eyes opened and darted to Sanosuke before Kenshin took a deep, calming breath, wishing his headache and nausea were as easily willed away as his panic. // Well, we're both still dressed, even if I did end up in Sano's bed...or more to the point, Sano ended up in Sano's bed too... //

Sano finally stirred, sitting up and stretching with a mighty yawn. "You look like hell."

"Oro...good morning to you too."

Sanosuke smirked and slowly drug himself out of bed, wandering over to the table and pouring a glass of water, carrying it back to the bed. "Here."

Kenshin accepted the glass gratefully. "Thank you." After a few moments and several more swallows, he was feeling a little better, at least. "Ugh."

Sano chuckled. "Oh, come on, it was totally worth it. I damn near think you had fun."

"I wouldn't know. I don't remember much past sitting down with you."

Sano's memory obligingly provided a rapid slideshow of memories of the previous evening....Kenshin's eyes smoldering as that lithe little frame wiggled in his lap, kissing him, that liquid purr his voice had dissolved into...

Sanosuke shook his head quickly, turning abruptly and busying himself with brushing out his hair before Kenshin could notice the blush he was sure was blazing on his cheeks. "Oh, we drank and played cards for a while and then came back here. It was fun. You lost a lot, but you seemed to have fun doing it." As Sano tied his band back around his head he turned and flashed Kenshin a grin, pleased that he had himself back under control.

Kenshin was silent for a minute. "And...how did we both end up in your bed?"

Sano cursed inwardly as his blush returned full-force.

Kenshin's eyes widened in alarm. "Wh-what?"

Sano shook his head rapidly. "Nothin' like that! Its...you were drunk and...er... I was going to go to bed but you insisted that the floor wasn't as comfortable as the bed and that we could share. And you were halfway passed out by then, so I...didn't bother to fight it and just went to sleep."

Kenshin decided to accept it and just move on. "Alright." After another moment or two of silence, he turned inquisitive violet eyes towards Sano. "I've heard a lot of people moving around already this morning... something going on?"

Sano nodded. "Yeah, we're makin' preparations to dock."

Kenshin was on his feet in an instant. "Why didn't you tell me we were so close to landfall?"

"Would it have mattered if I did? You would have spent the last few days getting all antsy to hurry off towards that village we're delivering the medicine to, when we can't leave yet anyways. Just relax. We'll take off as soon as we hit the shore. I DID mention last night that I had some stuff to do in the morning, but I guess ya probably don't remember that. I have it under control, though. I got an advance in my pay so I can get us a couple horses and some supplies."

Kenshin did relax a bit, sitting back down with a slight smile. "Well...it seems like you've planned this out already, that you have."

"Yeah. I even know right where to go to get us a couple decent horses. I've been to this port a few times."

"It seems that the years have broadened your horizons a good deal, Sano."

Sano considered that for a moment. "Yeah, somethin' like that. I saw a lot of new places, met a few interesting people along the way, learned a few new tricks... and it wasn't that it was a bad life, but it made me realize I'd walked off on some things that were just... I couldn't replace you guys... and I'd never find someone like YOU again."

Kenshin felt his cheeks heating and he glanced down. "Sano..."

"No, its true. Any...recent relationship developments aside... you singlehandedly pulled me out of my self-destruction. I was in a bad way and just getting worse and either didn't see it or didn't care. You kicked my ass and set me straight. You made my life worthwhile again. You're the best friend a guy could have, and I shouldn't have run off in what basically was a fit of jealousy."

"You are a true friend, Sano. Perhaps the only one I've ever had."

It was Sanosuke's turn to flush a little. "Aw, come on, everyone likes you. Jo-chan, the kid, Gramps, Fox-Lady, Weasel-girl..."

Kenshin chuckled. "It occurs to me that I'm the only one that has not received a colorful nickname from you, that it does! It seems you don't call anyone else by name."

Sano thought about it for a moment before grinning himself. "Eh, thats because I respect you...and...I dunno. On the flip side of that...you alone immediately gave ME a nickname. You not only call everyone else by full name, most of them have titles attached. Seems I've always just been Sano to you, though."

Kenshin blinked, then smiled. "I suppose that's true. But not to stray too far from the point...yes, they like me. And I like them. I'd lay down my life to protect any one of them, that I would. I love them all as if they were family. This is especially true in the case of Kaoru-dono and Yahiko. And while I trust their abilities to fight...to an extent...well. The fact of the matter is that they are still both largely innocent when it comes down to it. I have every confidence that both of them could defend themselves from any manner of normal bandit or criminal. They are not unskilled. Someday, when he is older, Yahiko will be a great swordsman, that he will. You know, though, that trouble that is far from normal seems to follow me, things far too dangerous for them to face. While I trust them with my love, the only one I can confidently trust with my life as well is you."

Sano couldn't help feeling both pleased and a little embarrassed. "Eh, I know a thing or two. I've got your back, you've got mine, and that's just how it is."

"Not exactly..." Kenshin was silent for a minute, as if carefully plotting out what he wanted to say. "You're always there when I need you, even if you haven't realized it. Many times when things were getting to be too much for me, it was you that would notice and try to cheer me up. You always knew when I didn't really feel the smile I may have had and always tried to help in your own way. Even if I didn't often tell you what was bothering me...it helped to know someone truly cared. And any time we ended up in our more significant battles, I knew that you would be there to lean on when all was said and done. I knew you would be there for me any time I most needed you." The redhead smiled. "Even when I foolishly got myself trapped by bandits on the roadside after four years apart, it was still you that came to my side."

"Much as I'd love to take credit for that one, it was pure dumb luck."

"Perhaps it was fate."

Sano arched an eyebrow as he caught Kenshin's liquid violet gaze with his own. "Fate, huh? I've never been a big believer in my life being predestined."

"I couldn't have gotten through this without you, Sano. You cannot know what it's meant to me to have you with me through this."

"Kenshin, you don't have to thank me for lookin' over you while you were hurt. And I didn't do anything special."

"You don't realize it, but you did. Anyone could have tended my physical injuries, this is true, but I would have suffered terribly the entire time. It is less and less as time goes by, but I am still a hunted man. I always have to watch my back. If I let my guard down...if I relax the instincts that kept me alive since the first day I became a hitokiri...I will be caught unaware and killed someday. These injuries stripped me of my ability to guard myself adequately. You can not know how it would have affected me mentally to be forced to lie helpless and unaware. I would have started hearing things, sensing things that were not there. I would have been horribly paranoid, frayed to my last nerves. But it was alright. I had you to watch over me and protect me as I would trust no one else to. Perhaps fate did bring you to me at that time."

"Maybe. Figure the world probably owes you at least one for all the shit it's thrown your way, anyways." Sano grinned and Kenshin laughed softly as he stood up and walked over. Kenshin stopped in front of him, eyeing him for a moment before speaking.

"...You really are too tall. Or maybe just this once I'll admit that I'm too short." Before Sano could get his scattering wits together in the face of those luminous violet eyes, Kenshin's fingers caught in his jacket and pulled him down even as he stretched up, giving the startled fighter a hesitant and brief kiss, a touch as light as the caress of a butterfly's wing.

Kenshin's cheeks abruptly flared and he let go of Sano's jacket, his gaze flicking elsewhere. "I...will get our things together while you do whatever else it is that you needed to take care of."

Sano broke into a wide grin. He knew how much even that tiny display of higher affection meant coming from someone as emotionally withdrawn as Kenshin. He felt like cheering, climbing the mast and hollering his joy to the world. Drunken incident not included, this was the first time Kenshin had initiated any contact between them that could be considered more than simply friendly. Of course... if he wanted a repeat any time in the near future, he had to keep his mouth shut. He had no problem imagining how easily he could drive Kenshin away like a skittish kitten by calling any attention to it.

"Alright, Kenshin. I'm gonna go up top and help out with the preparations. I'll come get ya when its time to go." Sano was whistling a cheery little tune almost the moment he walked out the door as he headed to the deck.


	13. Chapter 13

The Sharpest Lives 13 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - Me muse is still being difficult, but at least it's letting me work a little bit. Updates are not quite as fast as days gone by, but at least they're happening. I'm alternating this with my other major work - my Inuyasha fic 'Pride'. I do not intend this one to be quite the beast that one is (damn thing is at 600 pages now...), but we'll see how things go, eh? I think I'm losing my ability to write small fics. One-shots just don't do it for me anymore... All the one-shots I've written of late are simply like extra chapters to my much bigger story lines. XD

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China. The continent.

Kenshin had wandered throughout most of Japan in his ten years and had saw more than many people ever would...but he'd never actually set foot on any soil that wasn't Japanese. Kenshin's nerves were singing and it was only with great willpower that he was able to resist twitching at the slightest shadow. Most of the people in the port city spoke Chinese - no real surprise, but it kept him from being able to pick up on anything from listening to the crowds. Sanosuke surprised him by knowing a bit of the language himself - at least enough to ask basic questions and understand the answers. The bright morning sunlight hurt his still-sensitive eyes, but Sano had promptly purchased him a wide-brimmed hat. Kenshin was grateful for it - he was shielded from the stinging sunlight without having to walk around blindfolded. That REALLY would have sent him over the edge. The unfamiliarity alone was bad enough.

After buying a pair of horses and some supplies, Sano went and asked a few locals for some directions to the village where they would be delivering the medicine. He nodded a few times and took brief notes before coming back to Kenshin and cheerily announcing he knew where to go. Knowing Sanosuke's sense of direction, this was so out of character that it took Kenshin a great deal of willpower to keep his reaction to a smile and a nod rather than howling laughter. Sano also took him to a local restaurant and bought him lunch. Kenshin was unable to contain it any more and burst into a fit of laughter. "Who ever thought I'd see the day when you paid for your tab, Sano? And mine too? The world must surely be ending, that it is!"

"Oh, har har. I've spent a great deal of money on you so far on this little venture, I'll have you know. Lunch is nothin' compared to horses and getting that medicine chest back and everything. I think I went through six months' pay."

Kenshin's mirth subsided and he gave the fighter a warm smile. "I know, Sano...and I appreciate it a great deal. More than I could say. Even if I had been able to get out of my earlier situation alive, I never would have made it anywhere near this far without you. I will find a way to repay y--"

"No, you won't."

"Oro..."

Sano grinned as he put a tip on the table for their waitress and led Kenshin out of the restaurant towards their horses. "It's only money, Kenshin. Easy come and easier go, especially in my case. But don't worry about it. It's nothing between friends and nothing compared to the lives that medicine is going to save. Besides, much as you tease me about having no money, I've never seen you with more than a few dusty coins to rub together."

"Well..." Kenshin grinned somewhat sheepishly. "I really only have one major skill and that is not something I can market. I will not sell my sword to anyone for any reason, and I feel bad charging people if I'm in a defensive position such as a bodyguard."

Sano smirked. "Oh, you do too have other skills. You're a great housewife. Your cooking is excellent, you're a pro with the laundry, kids love you, you clean..." The fighter stopped ticking things off his list as he noted the increasingly sour look Kenshin was giving him. He couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, and I've never seen someone beat a tatami mat the way you do...Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, Tatami Mat Smash!"

"I gave you the first one about my homely skills...I deserved a shot back after making fun of your typical inability or lack of inclination to pay for food. But that last was overstepping yourself."

"Oh, come on. I've seen it. The way you took that stick to that mat made me glad I wasn't on your bad side."

Kenshin gave him a mock scowl and plucked up a long, thin stick, waving it in Sano's direction. "Would you like to see my Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu Sanosuke Beating?"

Sano grinned, knowing full well the threat was entirely idle. "Much as I'd love to be soundly thrashed for my indiscretion, its probably time we got a move on."

Kenshin smiled, tossed the stick off the side of the path and nodded, checking his packs and then mounting his horse as Sano did the same. "How far did the gentleman earlier say the village was from here?"

"He said it was about a week's walk on foot...with horses we can probably make it in half that."

Soon the two of them were riding out of town. It didn't take long for them to strike up a conversation.

"So, Sano...I haven't asked yet. What have you been doing since you left Tokyo?"

Sano flashed Kenshin a grin. "Well...initially, I just figured I'd take a page from your book and just wander at random. See more of the world, do a little soul searching. I made it to the coast and when I hit the first big port city, I found some big-shot merchant company looking to hire people for their trips back and forth between Japan and the continent and all the other ports of Japan in between. Seemed like good people, the pay was decent...and I got to travel in the meantime. I've been all over this part of the world in the past few years...Korea, Mongolia, practically every city on the coast of Japan..."

Kenshin smiled and listened as Sano recounted some of his adventures - and misadventures - of the past four years. Truly, it sounded like his friend had led a fairly interesting life and had a good time. "It seems it was a good move for you, that it does."

"Yeah...I can't say I regret it, but I was starting to feel pretty...homesick. Not so much for the city or even Japan itself - although you can't get proper cooking anywhere else - but...for you and the rest of the gang. Especially you." Sano trailed off for a while, then picked the conversation back up before Kenshin could get too blushy and serious. "So, what have YOU done since I left?"

Kenshin was quiet for a moment. "After you left, no one did much of anything for a while. We all missed you...I know at least for me things seemed rather quiet and...and there was a hollow space where you used to be, a void where normally you would have made some taunt at Yahiko or a poke at Kaoru's cooking..." Kenshin chuckled a bit. "But it wasn't just me. They missed you too. I understood and they did too, after a time, but that didn't make us miss you any less."

The redhead was quiet for a time before continuing. "Things became...complicated...for me. I think Kaoru-dono realized how easy it was for people to come and go in one's life and she began making her feelings more and more obvious...not that I wasn't aware in the first place. I have many faults, but being oblivious to others is not among them no matter how I may act."

Sano chuckled. "That's for damn sure. You may be antisocial, but you always know whats going on, when and where. Even if you don't participate that doesn't mean you don't observe."

Kenshin nodded. "And Kaoru-dono was never all that subtle to begin with. Really, she was about as subtle as a sack of bricks to the face. I know I should have...done something to dissuade her earlier. Really, it was rather cruel of me to let her continue on. I just...I didn't know how to tell her and make her understand that I loved her dearly, but in the way I might love a younger sister. She is very special to me, Sano...but I am not and was never in love with her. There was no way for me to think of to get this across to her without breaking her heart and I hate to see her cry." Kenshin heaved a sigh, closing his eyes. "A full two years after you had left she finally snapped and stopped her game of dropping hints and cornered me. She told me everything about how she felt and demanded to know how I felt in turn."

Sano winced. "That had to have been pretty rough."

"She was convinced she was to be my wife...that no one else would ever touch her heart as I had unintentionally done."

// Minus the wife part...I can see her point. Gods only know he ninja'd my heart and I didn't even realize it... // Sano mused, although he kept quiet.

"I... did not deserve it. Nor could I be for her what she wanted me to be. It hurt her to hear, and I knew she would not find a way to move past it with the constant reminder of me there. Two days later, I left. It was....harder than I ever thought it could be, to walk away from the place I had come to call home. After that...there isn't much to tell. I wandered wherever my feet would take me and helped those in need that I came across. And...well. Here I am, I suppose."

"And then this fate thing of yours brought us back together again."

Kenshin nodded. "Yes."

The two of them rode in relative silence for a while. Towards evening, something moves Sanosuke to begin singing a few traveling songs. Kenshin couldn't comprehend how someone could sing so wonderfully and horribly at the same time. Sano had a rich, deep singing voice and would be beautifully adept for a while and then inexplicably would slink terribly off-key. However, he seemed to be having fun, so Kenshin didn't bother to say anything.

They made camp near a small stream that night. They ate dinner and talked for a while before settling in to get some sleep. No matter how hard Sanosuke tried, he couldn't convince Kenshin to let him take first watch. The redhead just gave him an indulgent smile before settling down propped up against a tree near the fire, sakabatou resting against his chest and in hand. "You're gonna ruin your back sleeping like that. It's not good for you." Sano finally grumbled and flopped down.

"Good night, Sano," Kenshin replied lightly.

Nothing did disturb them that night, and the next two days proved uneventful as well. Towards evening of the third night, however, Kenshin was strangely on edge. He tried to place what had started ruffling the feathers of his ingrained hitokiri instincts. It was the sort of strange foreboding that whispered for him to escape in sibilant tones in his ear - go to ground, hold off or you'll be caught. Something was wrong. Something was out of place. Listening to that voice, no matter how irrational it seemed at the time, had always saved him in the past.

"What's got you so quiet all of a sudden? You've hardly said a word for the past half hour," Sano finally said. Kenshin jumped, his spine stiff. The fighter frowned a bit as he noticed the way Kenshin's narrowed eyes were flicking about the terrain, the slight cock of his head... he realized with a startled inward curse that Kenshin was on full alert. He'd caught something, sensed some danger as a wild animal would but couldn't yet place it. Sanosuke couldn't sense anything at all amiss. "What is it, Kenshin?"

"I don't know, Sano...but be on your guard. Something is wrong." Kenshin's nerves had gone from tingling to screaming. His mind reeled, his eyes darting around, every muscle in his body taut as a bowstring. He quietly popped his sakabatou from the hilt. He did not draw it, but that meant nothing to someone who had become infamous for the speed at which he could pull the blade.

// THERE! // Kenshin's mind finally caught the ki of a yet-distant but battle-ready human in front of them and concealed in a tree. THIS was what had been stalking them, just at the edge of his senses! The man's aura seethed with ill intent. Kenshin knew this aura - he'd felt it before countless times. The intent...no, the DESIRE...to kill. His voice was soft when he spoke, but Sano heard every word clearly. "Ahead of us and to the left. In a tree."

Almost as soon as the words left Kenshin's lips, a sharp crack and a flash rang out from ahead of them. Kenshin leapt off his horse, surprised that he hadn't felt the bite of a bullet. // He missed? Wh-- //

The samurai's gaze flicked over to Sanosuke, who sat completely still on his horse. Violet eyes widened in horror as he saw the seemingly innocent little hole in the fighter's jacket and the rapidly spreading blossom of crimson. Even as he watched, another shot rang out. The horses were spooked and had had enough. Kenshin's horse bolted and Sano's moved to join it. The motion dislodged the fighter and Sano fell with a thump.

"SANOSUKE!" A million horrified thoughts ran through the stream of Kenshin's mind, colliding and stabbing like shards of ice caught in the madly swirling current. He didn't dare move towards his friend, however, aware that any such motion could elevate this from bad to worse. In all his days, he couldn't recall a more painful clench in his heart, a more sickening lump of dread in his throat.

The bandits emerged from cover far up the road. Most of them were armed with swords. Kenshin noted there were two guns amongst them, but only one was aimed at him. The other was strapped to the back of another man. There were seven men in total. One of them called out something to Kenshin, but Kenshin didn't understand a word the man said. It sounded like a threat or an order, maybe a taunt.

The redhead nodded mentally as he assessed the situation, understanding their tactic. The rifles were old, only held one shot, and took a short while to reload. That meant the man that fired the first shot...the shot that had taken down Sano...was the one that had a gun aimed at him now. The other hadn't taken the time to reload, trusting in their numbers to deal with the two travelers. Their tactic made sense - take out the biggest threat from a distance and deal with the rest in close, seven on one. Looking at things, they had decided the bigger fighter was the greater danger, more of a threat than the too-pretty little thing next to him.

"You chose wrong," Kenshin finally growled, eyes flashing golden and blazing with the promise of retribution.


	14. Chapter 14

The Sharpest Lives 14 / ??

Written by Jezz-Ra

Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst

Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime. adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!

Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com ((remove spaces))

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - This chapter is dedicated to my Fox, as she specifically asked for it in return for a favor. =D And I even pushed it out early, too!

I know this fandom is old but I have to have SOME followers. Review, y'all! Just say hi! I don't like thinking I'm writing for a crowd of like...two... so just give me a signal that you're out there and wanting more. On that note, much love to Sinnatious, my most famous reviewer and the one whose story unintentionally inspired me to work on this beast in the first place. =D

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There were seven men. They had two guns, six swords, two staves, and more daggers and miscellaneous other weaponry than a casual glance could guess. They had only one opponent, armed with a single katana.

They didn't have a single prayer.

Before any of them could respond past an alarmed twitch at the sudden look in the little redhead's eyes, he had vanished before their eyes with a ring of drawing steel. They didn't have long to remain confused, however. Three of them were dropped, howling and clutching at broken bones, before they even fully comprehended what had happened and could draw a weapon in retaliation.

Kenshin gave China it's first taste of the Demon of the Bakumatsu. He danced amidst the seven, blade flashing with impossible speed and surprising power, connecting with dull fleshy thuds and the occasional crack. Kenshin was seething, and it was a struggle to remember that these were ordinary, if ill-intended humans. His shots had to be more carefully aimed; even the blunted edge of the sakabatou could be deadly if aimed for the right place with enough force.

Indeed, after the revolution, he nearly HAD killed several men as he retrained himself to change his combat style slightly. As a hitokiri, he had learned to make fast and deadly strikes intended to kill on the first swing. Always, he would target places on the body that would bleed freely. The sakabatou was different, however. To use it to its utmost, he had to learn to shift his targets to things that would break and incapacitate rather than bleed. He still had to use some discretion. It wouldn't take much to crush someone's throat, cave in a skull, or gods forbid, run someone through out of reflex. The tip of the sakabatou was sharp, after all.

Kenshin made none of these mistakes, however. Admittedly, he had probably hurt these bandits more than was necessary, but he felt no remorse. The man who had shot Sano would likely never regain the use of his right arm. Kenshin hadn't felt such an intense desire to give in to his hitokiri side and draw blood as payment in a very long time.

// Sano...! //

The bandits were all but forgotten as Kenshin hurried over to check on his friend. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the rise and fall of Sano's chest - he was still breathing, still alive. He had only been shot once - the second shot must have been either to scare the horses or had missed. Gingerly, Kenshin pulled Sano's bloodstained jacket open. The shot had been wide, but not by much. Another inch or so to the right and they might have had his heart. Still a grim injury, but as long as he got the bullet out and it was tended properly, it should be alright. Kenshin sighed in true relief, feeling a weight lift from him. Since the shot had first rang out, he hadn't known if Sano was even still alive.

He hated to risk aggravating Sano's wound further, but he didn't think it was terribly prudent, either, to just sit around and wait for the seven bandits to wake up. He patted them down, collecting all of their weapons and hurling them off into the woods, save for a dagger that he tucked into the sash of his hakama.

Moving Sano was going to prove to be troublesome. The fighter was out cold and just dead weight, not to mention a good bit larger than Kenshin himself was. But they couldn't just stay here, either! Not only did they have an important quest to finish, the air smelled like rain and that would be bad for Sano's recovery. The wound wasn't immediately fatal but it was still serious. A fever or infection could definitely tip the scales the wrong way, out of their favor.

Kenshin did what he could to temporarily bandage the wound and at least stop some of the bleeding until he could tend it properly. Trying to lift Sano up in an effort to drag him quickly proved to be an exercise in futility. He was too big, for one thing, and that made his form awkward under the best of circumstances. He was lean, but had a lot of heavy muscle packed on his frame. Kenshin knew how to hit with devastating force with his sword, but that didn't mean he was terribly physically strong.

On a positive note, they had to be getting within range of town - the bandits were proof of that. No sensible bandit company would operate in the middle of a long stretch of road - they would be far more likely to catch travelers in areas where traffic was heavier, nearer towns or villages.

Kenshin frowned. The next town might as well be on the moon. There was no way he would get there with Sano in tow any time soon, not with the horses and their supplies gone. // Well, there's nothing for it, then. // With a determined nod, Kenshin hooked his arms under Sano's arms and began the tedious process of dragging him down the road.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It was extremely slow going, and soon Kenshin was numb from mounting exhaustion. He had made a concerted effort to put as much distance between them and the bandits with the remaining daylight as he could, and the clouds were starting to roll in. He knew the bandits could easily overtake them if they had a mind to, but he hoped that the beating he had given them would be enough to deter them. Hope was about all he could do - if they showed up now, he wasn't sure he had the strength left to lift his sword, much less fight with it.

Luck finally decided to give him one and he spied a dilapidated shack a short ways off the road, almost obscured by wild growth. A quick investigation allowed him to get a better feel of the place. The wood was old and graying, and there were some holes in the walls and one in the roof, but it was a lot more than he had expected to find for shelter. The floor was packed earth and there were a few rocks surrounding a small fire pit. Something that might once have been a straw mat was decaying in pieces over in one corner.

Kenshin wrestled Sano's limp form into the building before sagging against the wall in exhaustion. He didn't have time to waste, though, and he soon made his way out of their shelter to gather up enough firewood to last them the night. He rearranged some fallen branches and brush to cover the biggest of the holes as best he could before heading back inside.

Kenshin felt as if he had lead weights attached to all his limbs and the air felt more like deep water. He afforded himself a short break after getting the fire going, knowing that he couldn't work with his hands trembling as they were. The few minutes did nothing except practically lull him to sleep, however, and the redhead knew that was bad.

With a small sigh Kenshin shook himself back to being alert and went about unwrapping the temporary bandages. With infinite care Kenshin worked with the knife he had liberated earlier to dig the bullet out of Sano's flesh. It was lodged fairly deeply, and he had to work hard to put the thought out of his head on how much damage he could cause if he slipped.

However, Kenshin did not slip, and soon had the metal slug out of the wound. He put the knife blade in the fire before looking back at Sano. // Sorry about this... // Kenshin cringed at the terrible hiss as he touched the hot metal to the wound, but it was bleeding fairly badly and he didn't have a lot to work with. He had nothing to close up the hole, so he had to hope cauterizing and bandaging would be enough.

The samurai flushed away most of the blood from the surface of the wound with water before moving to finish up the whole process. // At least Sano comes pre-equipped with bandages...otherwise I don't know what I would have used. // Kenshin afforded himself a very slight smile as he propped Sano up and began wrapping the wound with the bandages he had taken from around the fighter's waist. Not really an ideal solution, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances.

Finally, he was done. He sank back against the wall of the shack, Sano's head resting in his lap. After a moment, Kenshin squirmed out of his haori and draped it over Sano as a makeshift blanket, listening to the rain starting to fall outside. It was a little cold, but he'd be fine. He was more worried about Sano's health right now than his own.

Sano hadn't so much as flinched during the operation, but his breathing was deep and even and his heartbeat was powerful and steady. He didn't seem to have any signs of fever. Kenshin took these as the best signs that he had that the fighter was going to be alright. Good.

He didn't know what he would do if he had lost Sano. Realistically he knew that they lived sharp and dangerous lives, dancing on the razor's edge as they made their way from one battle to the next. Any day could easily be their last. He had thought he had accepted it...but seeing Sano go down right before his eyes had hurt him in a way he didn't know he could still be hurt.

And, in truth, he hadn't been entirely honest with Sano, either. He hadn't lied, but that didn't mean he had told the whole truth either. He had told Sano he missed him but had understood when he left, all those years ago. That much was true...but he hadn't mentioned the lonely ache, the grief that went with all that. Even if he hadn't wanted to admit it, when Sano had left it seemed most of the light had been sucked out of his life as well. He wondered constantly what the fighter was up to, what sort of trouble he was getting into...if he would ever see his friend again. What if Sanosuke had died on some distant shore? Chances were he would never hear of it.

Really, he knew he shouldn't feel that way. Sano was moving on with his life. Kenshin had always known the fighter couldn't be caged in one place forever; too hot a fire burned in his spirit. His friend needed to get out and see the world. It wasn't right or proper for him to want to selfishly keep him there...his one and only dearest friend and trusted companion.

But then...Sano had always had that effect on him, hadn't he? Kenshin constantly found himself inspired to do things entirely contrary to what he would normally do, what was right and what was proper, when he was in the fighter's presence. Somehow, the rules were different with Sanosuke. Life moved to a different rhythm. There was just something about him that blurred the edges of Kenshin's rigid discipline, made him think and do things he never would have considered.

Sano had gotten under his skin almost immediately when they had met, worked his way into Kenshin's heart. Kenshin had found himself opening up to the fighter in ways he did with none other. Of course, Sano seemed to always know when he was faking a smile or had something eating at his mind and would, in his own way, go about trying to help make him feel a little better.

And Sano did make him feel better. Feel...

Kenshin slowly opened his eyes to look at Sano, his cheeks pinking slightly when he realized he had unconsciously been threading his fingers through Sano's unruly hair as he sat, lost in thought. He almost pulled away but then paused. Who was there to stop him or see him, anyway? He could allow himself this...this... well, what was it?

What did he feel for Sanosuke, exactly? It was a subject hard for him to even think about. He had admitted to loving him as he had all his friends, but did it run deeper than that? Was he so caught up in Sano's sudden and unexpected love for him that he was merely indulging his friend, not wanting to hurt him until his inexplicable...infatuation or whatever passed?

No. That wasn't true on any level, and he knew it. Strange, that it was, that he would find himself falling in love again after so long...and in the most unlikely of places. No matter how he looked at it, that's what it was...even if it almost took his friend's death to face up to that fact rather than dance around it or shy away from it as if it wasn't true. Kenshin was afraid to love, to be in love. The last time he had allowed it had had disastrous consequences and he wasn't sure if he could handle such pain again.

And of all people to hesitantly offer his heart to, who would have thought it would be Sanosuke? It sounded absurd. Kenshin had never been attracted to another man before. Of course, to be fair, he hadn't been attracted to any women either outside of Tomoe, and even she had sort of...fallen into his lap and it had taken time and association.

Oh, to be sure, he had recognized her beauty, but that wasn't the same as attraction. Kenshin recognized the beauty of much of the world...in nature, in other people, in things both simple and complex. Tomoe was striking, a beautiful model of what the female of the species could be. He had recognized this fact when he first saw her, but he had not harbored any attraction for her then. Lust and love just didn't play a part in the brutal life he had led.

"You really do confound everything I've ever believed in or about myself, Sano..." Kenshin finally murmured, his eyelids slipping shut again as if drawn with weights. There would be time to dwell on the confusion in his heart and soul in the morning.


	15. Chapter 15

I realize that this is not something I'm supposed to do - author's notes and whatnot constituting a place given over as a chapter. However, I feel it is my duty as an authoress to update my community (if anyone is still listening.)

This will be a brief message detailing plans for the story in question, where I've been, and where else this can be located in case ffnet cracks down on me...because anyone reading this knows about the lemon flavoring I've injected into most of my work and, if their bots pick me up, 'Pride" (and possibly my others) will be axed off the site. Never fear - I'm in other locations as well that won't do that (and will be detailed below).

First, I apologize to anyone reading these fics on ffnet. I realize that they changed something somewhere along the line, and it stripped part of my formatting...most notably page breaks. There is no division between my author's notes and the story itself. I am making an effort to correct that.

If anyone knows of a good, free word processor that doesn't have formatting half the websites out there won't accept, I'd appreciate suggestions, just PM me. (remember, links don't work on here too unless you add spaces).

That being said...

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Firstly, my reason WHY this seeming abandonment of my story has occured:

I have not abandoned this story, I've just had a lot of things happen since I was last able to write or was in much of a writing mood.

I moved house in with my father and his mother, to take care of my grandmother during her final years, and that took a significant portion of my time. When that was finished, I moved again to live with my father. I was helping him out with what little help he needed (he lost a leg due to diabetes and, while fully able to care for himself and functional, there are a few things that having two legs makes easier. Heh.).

Things seemed to be going fairly well, and I added a few chapters and was making the plans I needed to finish this bad boy so I could get started on a sequel. xD Because I'm like that. Then, a couple weeks later, I got word that my little brother had gone missing. He remained so for 24 days before they found him. He had been in a rollover accident (we knew that part) during a terrible blizzard on his way home, and it took them that long to find his body. He didn't even have a jacket. He walked about a mile and a half in his work clothes, no socks, t-shirt...climbed over a couple barbed wire fences and ultimately fell to hypothermia.

That more or less killed my writing groove, as he was my only sibling and I don't have much in the way of family.

So I finally started getting things together so I could start writing again after a long and painful year of getting my head straighter than it was and crap. I began doing a revision, update, and edit to change formatting so it wouldn't be stripped out on this site or others, fixing potential mistakes, minor updates to Sairex's speech patterns in his earlier moments before he was better defined and I realized I'd keep him in Pride...blah blah.

On April 19th, my father died. He was probably the closest person in the world to me, and a lot of my personality and writing mojo and things that I do were directly relatable to him. His death was entirely unexpected and floored me and everyone else. He was only 61. His heart function declined from a healthy 60 percent a year ago to only 10-15. He got pneumonia and an infection and the whole mess of it took him down. I'm still reeling from it.

Sooo. That put me in the position to have to move back into my mother's house, where I started this whole story. And now that I'm here again, back in the land of no-internet-worth-mentioning (we live in farmland and the only options are satellite or dialup. Sat's tolerable for some things but useless for gaming and such)... now that I'm here and can't do half my former hobbies, boredom if nothing else will drive me to start writing again. It's why I started in the first place...boredom and loneliness lol.

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On to the - WHERE DO I FIND YOU IF YOU'RE AXED OFF THIS SITE BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA MISS SOMETHING! portion.

The absolute best, number one most reliable place to find my work is on my Dreamwidth page. I check it every day, and it has every fic I've posted recently or in the past, including ALL of Pride and its sidestories. It's all prettified, with cute icon pictures and colors, formatting, etc.

It got a fresh edit, I am in the process of re-editing it again as we speak AND have two beta-readers taking a stab at it as well (I never had anything beta'd before, and if anyone else is interested in also taking a look for specific things, especially if you know this story or my others well, I'd appreciate it!). Anyhow, Dreamwidth is my hotspot where all my absolute most recent edits, posts, stories, information, etc. is listed. You can find me at:

Jezzra . Dreamwidth. Org. ((obviously, remove the spaces, I can't put links in here.))

However, if you either hate Dreamwidth, its not working out for you, or you just plain old prefer something else... I can also be found at Mediaminer. org, Adultfanfiction. net, and (once my latest edit is done and beta'd) Ao3. If you need more detailed information on how to find my work, feel free to send me a PM or even an email. My email is visible in my profile (megami _ no _ remon hotmail. com). Just make sure you put something in the subject line so I know it isn't spam mail...and if I don't respond I apologize. I also check my email every day and it has, in the past, deleted some personal mail that it thought was spam.

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On to...THE PLAN! THE FUTURE OF PRIDE (and others)!

Yes. They have one. It may just be the ending. It may have a sequel that will go on for who knows how long. It may have more sidestories. I really cant' imagine myself writing Inuyasha-verse stories and not using my characters as they've grown and become in the course of writing this beast, so...any future work I do in the fandom will likely end up being related in some fashion.

And my other fandoms, notably RK & TRC - will not go un-updated. I intend to finish my WIPs in those regards just as wholly as I intend to for Pride.

They, too, are in their most recent (and another working) edit stage, with live copies on my dreamwidth page if nowhere else.

My goal is to first finish the formatting edit. I will then repost everything to my various posting sites (the live version that I work on is already up on DW - I'm editing off that copy directly as I lost my main copy to a computer crash lol).

After I have everything re-edited and reposted - which shouldn't take too long, depending on how life treats me - I will settle in and start writing again.

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So, while I'm sure its not what you hoped for in a new chapter, this is my official apology, my plans, and most importantly, the way to find my works to see the conclusion of various things or for future reading in case the ffnet bots do indeed pick up on my, ah... disregard to the rating limits and my choice to post my works here, unedited and with plenty of lemon filling.

I hope you continue to enjoy my stories, wherever you may find them.

Cheers, all!

~ The Mighty and Incomparable Pharaoh Jezz-Ra


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